In August 2004, I was performing combat operations with the United States Marine Corps in Iraq’s Al Anbar Province. At the time, I was just becoming interested in politics. Prior to my second deployment, in late July, a fellow marine took me to a San Diego movie theater to view Michael Moore’s documentary film, Fahrenheit 9/11.

Without question, Moore’s film served as a critical turning point in my personal development. For the first time in my life, I began to think about politics in a serious manner.

The Journey of a Young Liberal

By the time my unit arrived in Iraq for the second time, I routinely read liberal political magazines (Nation, Rolling Stone), books written by liberal authors (Al Franken, Maureen Dowd) and online articles from liberal sites (New York Times, MSNBC). Those outlets, however limited in ideological scope, were my entry to political thought. Like most people who undergo a personal-political transformation, I didn’t immediately identify as a radical, communist, anarchist, etc.

In all honesty, identifying as a liberal in the Marine Corps was a radical position to take, for many of my comrades were extremely conservative and reactionary in nature.

Initially, my rebellion consisted of placing “John Kerry for President 2004” stickers on my gear and decorating the limited wall space next to my bunk bed with newspaper clippings and magazine articles. I forget which publication wrote the story, but a major US newspaper featured an article that compared and contrasted Kerry’s military record with Bush’s. I cut it out and posted it to the wall.

One day, our unit was subjected to an inspection by the higher-ups. As the freshly dressed commanders surveyed the room, my NCO (Non Commissioned Officer) lost his mind when he saw the Kerry clippings. He started to yell, “Emanuele! What the fuck is this garbage?” Before I could utter a response, a lieutenant from our battalion immediately jumped in, “Sergeant, these boys are allowed to have political signs and so forth during campaign season. It’s allowed.” Of course, the NCO walked away fuming, assuring me that I’d pay for my transgression (I ended up having to fill sandbags and stand extra post — not a big deal, except for the fact that my NCO had me filling sandbags at a retransmission site, in the broad daylight, at dusk, knowing full-well that we were often mortared at that time of day).

Sometime in late October, I was sitting in a communications post on the main base in Al Qaim, when an infamous Gunnery Sergeant walked in and saw my Kerry sticker on my CD player (yes, back then we still listened to CDs…). Gunnery Sergeant Parsons walked up to me, lowered his head, and asked, “Do you want to sell-out your fellow marines like Kerry sold out his fellow soldiers, Emanuele? Do you want to be a fucking traitor, you little piece of shit?”

In all honesty, I didn’t even know what hell he was talking about as I wasn’t aware of Kerry’s congressional testimony, just the fact that he spoke out against the Vietnam war and supported policies that were more in line with my values than Bush’s insane brand of neoconservatism.

Long story short, after my best friend was killed during a routine combat patrol (we were ambushed), and after I killed several people, including an unarmed man who was hiding in a drainage ditch after planting an IED (Improvised Explosive Device), I was completely opposed to the war. My anecdotal experiences, combined with a newfound political consciousness, left me utterly incapable of continuing my military service. I was, on many levels, shattered as a human being.

Disillusionment with Democrats

Yet, my political journey continued. By the end of my service in the Marine Corps, I was reading some of Noam Chomsky’s work. When I returned home, I started working with several antiwar organizations in the Chicagoland Region, where I met radical activists and attended political protests and various other events for the first time.

I was working primarily with a group called Iraq Veterans Against the War. The organization, founded in 2004, had three stated objectives: 1) reparations for the people of Iraq, 2) immediate withdrawal of all occupying forces from Iraq, and 3) full benefits for all returning servicemen and women. One of the benefits of having such concise and simple objectives is that you can easily pull in all sorts of people: Republicans, radicals, independents, etc. On the other hand, one of the downfalls of having simple objectives without a clear set of values and a vision for the future is that groups will often digress into debates and arguments about things that should have been settled through a proper organizing process.

That being said, I appreciate the fact that I was exposed to many different political ideologies in a short period of time. Prior to my engagement with IVAW, I had never spoken with someone who identified as a radical environmentalist, socialist or libertarian. The conversations were stimulating and my ideologies and liberal sensibilities were challenged.

In 2006, I voted for the Democrats in the midterm elections. Without question, I was happy they won back the house and senate from the insane GOP. Fast-forward two years, and I was completely disillusioned with the Democratic Party. After months of debate, it was clear that the Democrats were not going to cut off funding for the war. In my thinking, at least at the time, cutting off funding for the war was the best possible option for quickly ending the occupation.

Over time, I began to understand the inherent problems with the Democratic Party: it’s a capitalist-imperialist party, etc. In short, I came to conclusion that activists should focus their energies on systems and institutions of power, not singular issues or political parties.

In March 2008, I testified at the Winter Soldier Hearings in Silver Springs, Maryland, with over 300 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans. I spoke about the killing of innocent civilians, wanton violence, the mutilation of corpses and torture. A few weeks later, the Executive Director of IVAW called me on the phone and asked if I was willing to testify to US Congress about the same issues. Of course, I instantly said yes and anxiously awaited the testimony. By the time we were in Washington, DC, testifying to congress, I was on the verge of completely rejecting electoral politics.

After my testimony, and after answering a slew of questions from reporters and journalists, I was approached by a young woman who introduced herself as an aide to my local congressman in Northwest Indiana, Rep. Peter Visclosky. She told me that Rep. Visclosky wanted to have lunch with me at his office. Apparently, he had just finished watching my testimony and wanted to chat.

After a quick stroll through the halls of congress, I arrived at my representative’s office. Rep. Visclosky eventually walked in and sat down. He immediately started chatting, “Vince, I have some very special news for you.” He continued, “Since you just finished such a courageous and vitally important testimony [typical used car salesman bullshit], I thought you should know that I’m going to throw my hat in the ring for Barrack Obama! He’s getting my endorsement in the primaries.” Smiling, and obviously pleased with himself, the midwestern congressman sat back and asked, “What do you think about that?” I quickly responded, “That’s fine Pete, but what are the Democrats going to do about funding for the war?”

I might as well have asked about a past marital affair, because he instantly got up from the chair, straightened his necktie, and answered, “That’s not even on the table.” Condescendingly, he went on to say that I needed to “get real” about politics and that there are many “pressures” and “complications” when it comes to policy and war. We shook hands; he left the room; and I finished my sandwich.

Several months later, IVAW was gearing up for the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. First up were the Democrats, who held their convention in Denver that year. The major event of the week was a concert IVAW held with Rage Against the Machine and various other groups. After the show, IVAW led 10,000+ people on a march to the Pepsi Arena, where Bill Clinton was scheduled to speak.

When we arrived at the entrance, hundreds of riot and SWAT police were in full gear, forming a line between us and the arena. They warned that if we stepped any closer, they would deploy tear gas and stun grenades. For the first time in my life, I was confronted with the option of willingly being beaten up by the police. Prior to that, I had always tried to avoid contact with the police as I’ve always understood them to be dangerous. That being said, the group of protestors and veterans decided that we had made our point, so we retreated to the general crowd and decompressed from hours of music and marching.

On a side note, I will say that we should have escalated and forced the police to attack us that hot July day. In hindsight, we could have used such a spectacle to promote the organization, and highlight police violence and the inherent political bankruptcy of the Democratic Party.

Furthermore, it’s also worth mentioning that the Democrats treated us significantly worse than their Republican counterparts. People in Denver yelled at us, and asked, “Do you morons want a repeat of 2000?” Some people became so enraged at our presence that their friends had to hold them back from physically attacking us. Emotions were high and rational thought was missing from the picture. If any IVAW members went to Denver as democrats, they surely didn’t leave as democrats.

Where the Left Fails

By the time the 2008 elections came around, I was so pissed off that I almost didn’t show up to vote. Finally, I decided to vote because of two reasons. First, because I watched a clip of Noam Chomsky explaining why, in his thinking, people in swing states should vote for the Democrats, while those not living in swing states should vote for third party candidates. His point is that minor policy differences matter in peoples’ everyday, real-world lives. And he’s right. The second reason was because a close activist friend of mine begged me to vote for Obama because of the potentially positive symbolic impact it would have for African Americans.

After the election was over (Indiana went blue for the first time in 44 years), I continued my education at university and organized with various political movements: environmental, labor, etc. I started to think about patriarchy, capitalism, ecology and empire. During this period, I developed a critique of Western Civilization, understanding that many of our modern problems find their roots in the foundations of this society and culture.

In many ways, I was fortunate. I enjoyed a great intellectual support network of professors and activists who weren’t tied to any sectarian organizations and who didn’t adhere to dogmatic ideologies. Most importantly, I was allowed time to grow. People, particularly those who were informing my politics, didn’t bombard me with feelings of guilt or ignorance because of my lack of knowledge or lackluster political skills. They loaned me books and documentaries; we had conversations and spent time with each other. We built long-lasting bonds and trust.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about my personal journey in the context of the 2016 Bernie Sanders US Presidential campaign. Without question, there are young liberals working in the Sanders campaign who are radicals-in-the-making. Are leftists in the US prepared to speak with, debate, make friends and work with these activists? Surely, leftists understand that they’re not going to radicalize people through telling them how dumb they are to support Sanders, right?

And before anyone starts fuming, I understand all the critiques of Sanders, and agree with the vast majority of them. Nevertheless, the Left is offering nothing as an alternative, just the old mantra of, “Build movements!” Movements to do what? With whom? Where? And how? They have no idea.

Meanwhile, tens of thousands of people are mobilizing for Sanders (Phoenix and Madison are two recent examples), and the American Left has nothing to offer them. Instead, American leftists are interrupting political conferences (Netroots Nation) and bashing Sanders online.

Meanwhile, leftists lack a viable third party, or even movements capable of creating viable political parties. Moreover, the Green Party might as well not exist in most of the country and the sectarian parties aren’t even worth mentioning.

Decent-minded people in my neighborhood and the surrounding local communities are preparing to organize for Sanders. Indeed, people who never speak to me about politics, or post anything political to social media sites, are sharing information and news about Sanders’ campaign. Obviously, his message is resonating with a good portion of Americans. And that’s a good thing, regardless of what the cynics say.

Is the American Left is so cynical, so disempowered and impotent that they can’t see the forest through the trees? Hell, as one leftist recently told me, “The American Left can’t even see the trees!” The more leftists badmouth Sanders, while offering no electoral alternative(s), the more the Left looks silly and detached from reality.

In the end, there are thousands of people who will be radicalized through the process of the 2016 US Presidential election. Indeed, I was radicalized through working with the Democratic Party.

The question is whether or not leftists can use this opportunity to build long-lasting bonds with liberals and liberal groups, while increasing their own institutional capacities, or will they further alienate themselves from the broader public by resorting to a kind of childish online bantering?

Only time will tell.

Vincent Emanuele is a writer, activist and radio journalist who lives and works in the Rust Belt. He’s a member of UAW Local 1981 and can be reached at vincent.emanuele333.gmail.com