Iām writing today about hashtags.Ā In particular, I want to focus on what happens now that weāve said #MeToo and #TimesUp.
Like many women and girls, I said Me Too. And, like most, mine was not a one-time experience but rather a lifetime of inappropriate comments, catcalls, and unwanted sexual contact. As Iāve written before, Iām glad the Hollywood and USA gymnastics scandals have us talking about powerful men who abuse that power. But it isnāt just men in power who commit these same acts of sexual harassment, abuse, and assault. Men harass women and girls in the streets, at the stores, in schools.Ā Everywhere.
I am 45 years old. Not long ago, I experienced unwanted sexual conduct from someone half my age. The only power he has over me is that heās a man who feels heās entitled to say and do as he pleases to women. I have been catcalled by boys recently out of high school on the campus where I teach, a university with a commitment to social justice.Ā A random guy at the gym thinks itās OK to make a lewd comment about my weight, while another one at the market felt it was complimentary to mutter about my body to the poor female cashier, as if she wanted to hear his verbal diarrhea.Ā As I drove to present a version of this piece at the Miami Womenās March second annual event, a man pulled up next to me so he could make a vulgar sexual gesture.
So, yeah, MeToo. Speaking up matters. Shedding light on the scope of these problems to those who had inexplicably missed it, matters. Solidarity matters. And no, I do not believe this is fake feminism. But now what?
Celebrities like Emma Watson, Reese Witherspoon and Shonda Rhimes have launched #TimesUp as perhaps a next step. With their attention, which wonderfully dominated the Golden Globes, theyāve also started a legal defense fund to help individuals come forward without fear of legal, career or financial retaliation. This is great, and theyāve pledged to help create a cultural shift that will end sexual harassment.
Thatās where things get a bit more vague. What does that look like? And how does it happen? Stories and accountability are elements of it, but they alone do not shift the culture.
Perhaps some other hashtag ideas can be helpful here. I have to admit, Iām not that big of a hashtagger, so forgive me if some of these may already be in circulation. But, how about #Iwilldisruptit? Someone saw or heard all of the instances I mentioned earlier, and in most cases of harassment, abuse and assault, that is true. What if in addition to being committed to speak up as persons who have been victimized, we also committed to speak up when we see or hear troublesome comments or behavior? Some of us do this, others need to start doing it.
Or how about #teachkidsgenderequality? If we want to change our culture, we need to socialize both boys and girls differently. All kids need to know that no one is entitled to control your decisions and your bodies but you. I am guilty of being too nice, of too easily dismissing or forgiving. Many of us are. And yet Iām pissed off that I still have to live in this rape culture, and that my daughter does, too. As Barbara Kingsolver so importantly wrote, āFeminine instincts for sweetness and apology have no skin in this game.ā As this last year has affirmed, when women channel their anger about gender inequality, amazing things happens.
Iām sure we can think of many more ideasāand they are that, not just hashtagsāthat will help transform our culture into one in which women donāt face these daily microaggressions. But in honor of the event I just spoke at, #powertothepolls. Letās elect women, and the progressive men who support us, and make some political changes that will make male entitlement a thing of the past.
Laura Finley, Ph.D., teaches in the Barry University Department of Sociology & Criminology and is syndicated by PeaceVoice.
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