Sisohloleni lonyaka lwendodakazi yami eneminyaka engu-7. Ngemva kokulunguza kuye
izindlebe nomlomo, eshaya izindlala zakhe, futhi elalela inhliziyo yakhe, uDokotela
akhombe ingquza kaZoe bese ebuza ngokuphazima kweso, "Ngabe kukhona oke akuthinte
lapha?" Emangele uZoe. Angibuke, aphinde abuke udokotela.
โCha,โ kusho yena.
Udokotela uhlola okuthile ebhodini lakhe lokunamathisela. Futhi uthi, "Kuhle.
Lezi izitho zakho zangasese. Akekho okufanele abathinte ngaphandle kwakho." Zoe
akasho lutho. "Unaye umngani omkhulu?" Kubuza udokotela.
"Awu, umzala wami ufana nomngane wami omkhulu, kodwa silwa kakhulu
omunye umngane ongumngane ongcono kakhulu. Igama lakhe uHana. Ngahlangana naye..."
"Kulungile. Uyakwazi ukufunda?"
Kuqhubeka kanje. Phakathi nenhlolokhono, uZoe ubuzwa mayelana
ukugqoka i-helmut yebhayisikili nokusebenzisa ibhande lesihlalo. Uyiphindaphinda ngokuqiniseka
inombolo yocingo kanye nekheli lakhe, uchaza ukuthi uzoshayela ku-911 uma kwenzeka
eziphuthumayo, futhi uthi uke alwe nodadewabo. Izinkathazo zokudla okunomsoco
kubhekwana nami ngokungibuza ukuthi uthola okungenani izingilazi ezimbili zobisi ngosuku.
Ngokusobala, udokotela uphonsa mayelana nokuziphatha nokuthuthuka
izinkinga ezingase zicashe enganeni yami, futhi imfundise ngokugwema
izingozi โ ababulali abavamile bezingane zanamuhla. Lokhu akukubi, ngokwesibonelo. Uma thina
wayenokukhathazeka ngokuziphatha kukaZoe noma wayengazi ngokuphepha okuthile
izinyathelo zokuphepha, kungase kusize ukukhuluma nochwepheshe bezempilo ngakho.
Kodwa i-interview izizwa ingenangqondo futhi ingenamsebenzi. Futhi angikwazi ukuzibamba ngizwe
ukuthi uma kuphela, lokho uZoe asekufundile kumayelana nendlela yokukhuluma
amaqiniso angaphelele kubantu abaphethe, indlela yokunikeza izimpendulo ezimfushane, nokuthi kwenziwa kanjani
lindela lokho udokotela afuna ukukuzwa.
"Ezikhathini ezedlule," kusho udokotela waseNewton u-Eugenia Marcus,
โOdokotela bezingane kwadingeka babhekane nezifo eziningi ezithathelwanayo ezazikhona
asikho isikhathi sokuveza iqiniso lokuthi, ngendlela, uJohnny uyafeyila esikoleni futhi
enobudlova kumfowabo" [Boston Globe, 6/28/99]. Kodwa manje, nokunye okwengeziwe
isikhathi sokuhlola izinkinga zokuziphatha nentuthuko, odokotela baqhamuke
ngohlu lwazo lonke. Ngaphandle kwezinkinga esizaziyo, njenge
ukukhubazeka kwengqondo, ukubambezeleka kolimi nenkulumo kanye ne-autism, kukhona okunye
iziyaluyalu ezintsha sha (Qaphela! Uhlu lubandakanya wonke umuntu, wena โ nawo wonke umuntu
uyazi - mhlawumbe uke wahlushwa okungenani kokukodwa kwalokhu esikhathini esithile
impilo yakho): "ubunzima bokuqeqeshwa kwendlu yangasese, izinkinga zokuziphatha, ngokweqile
amahloni, kanye nokukhathazeka ngokutholwa noma ukuba nongqingili noma ongqingili
abazali."
Kulungile, manje njengoba ochwepheshe sebekhombe ukuthi ukuba nesitabane noma izitabane
abazali bangakubeka engcupheni yokuphazamiseka (futhi lapha bengilokhu ngicabanga lokho
I-homophobia kwakuyisiyaluyalu โ esibeka zonke izingane zethu engcupheni).
wahamba futhi wadala isiyalo esisha sezokwelapha esibizwa ngokuthi Intuthuko kanye
I-Behavioral Pediatrics, igcwaliswe ngochwepheshe abahloliwe nabaqinisekisiwe abazokwenza lokho
sebethole ukuqeqeshwa okuqinile nokujwayelekile, futhi ngubani ozonikezwa umsebenzi
ngokuxilonga izinkinga zengane yakho kanye nokuqhamuka nohlelo lokwelapha.
Kungani ngingaduduzwa? Kungani ngingazizwa ngivikelekile ngokwazi lokho
amakilasi amasha aphelele ochwepheshe azobe ebheke izingane zethu
inhlalakahle?
Ngoba sihlala sikhuluma nezingane mayelana nokushoda kwazo kunalokho
kunobumpofu bempilo yezikhungo, amasiko nezomnotho abayiphilayo;
sibhekana nokuziphatha kwabo mayelana nokuthi ingena kanjani ekuqineni
izilungiselelo zesikhungo; futhi sicinga izilungiso ezisheshayo ezizothuthukisa
izimpawu, futhi usivumele ukuba singanaki, okwamanje, ngokujulile kwezenhlalo nezombusazwe
imibuzo.
Ake sibheke ukulungisa okusheshayo, okubonakala kufaka phakathi noma yikuphi ukuziphatha
ukuguqulwa kokwelapha noma ukwelashwa kwezidakamizwa. Ngizokhuluma ngalokhu kokugcina ku-a
ukuphawula kamuva kule nyanga mayelana nokuqhuma kwakamuva ekusetshenzisweni kwe-ritalin in
izingane. Kowokuqala, ake sicabangele isibonelo seSikhungo se
Imfundo Ehlanganyelwayo kanye Nendlela Yokuzilolonga "yekhono lokukhuluma
okushodayo."
Ingane enenkinga nguJim. Ubonakala kunzima ukulalela phakathi
ikilasi. Isikhungo Semfundo Esebenzisanayo Nokuziphatha sisikisela lokhu
uhlelo olulandelayo:
Injongo:
Ngesikhathi sezifundo zasekilasini, uJim uzobeka imibono efanele kuphela bese ebuza
imibuzo efanele kuphela ngamaphesenti angama-80 wamathuba.
Izinhloso:
Kunikezwe ikilasi lemizuzu engama-50, iqembu elikhulu (okungukuthi, abafundi abangaphezu kwama-20).
Isifundo, uJim uzobuza umbuzo owodwa ofanele futhi aveze imibono emibili efanele
osukwini ngalunye kwezi-3 zesikole ezilandelanayo.
Imisebenzi yokufeza umgomo nezinjongo:
[Lapha, imisebenzi eminingana ibaliwe, kuhlanganise, โUthisha uzoyenza
izibonelo eziyisibonelo nezingezona izibonelo zezimo lapho ukulalela kubalulekile futhi
ukusiza uJim ekuboneni izingxenye zokulalela okusebenzayo (isb., izandla kanye
izinyawo zithule, amehlo abheke isikhulumi, izindebe ezithule, cabanga ngalokho okukhona
wathi futhi unquma uma udinga ulwazi olwengeziwe, cabanga ngendlela
ulwazi lukwenza uzizwe, futhi uma kunesidingo, phawula noma ubuze a
umbuzo); futhi โUJim uzoqapha ithuba kanye nezinga akulo
ulalela ngentshiseko ngesikhathi sezinkulumo futhi uzoziqinisa (isb., `Ngenze a
muhle umsebenzi!');."]
Manje, ngeke ngiphakamise ukuthi abantu abadala abakwazi ukukusebenzisa kahle
ukuguqulwa kokuziphatha. Ongazange afumbathise izingane zakhe kanye nje a
ngenkathi? Isebenza kahle ngokumangalisayo. Kodwa kuwukugwazisa okudala. Ayinhle kakhulu
noma eyakhayo. Impela akusona isikhathi sokukhula, nakuba ngokuvamile kukuthengela a
umzuzwana noma ikutholela umphumela.
Kodwa ingabe yilokho ochwepheshe bezokuthuthukiswa nokuziphatha abafuna uJim? A
umphumela olinganisekayo wesikhathi esifushane? Kubonakala kunjalo. Ukushoda kwekhono lakhe elithile
ibiza okungenani amaphesenti angama-80 okuphawula kwakhe ukuba afaneleke okungenani
izinsuku ezintathu zilandelana. Uma ewufeza umgomo wakhe, uyalizuza ithuba lokwenza
ukuziqinisa okuthile (isb, "Ngenze okuhle
umsebenzi!").
Yiqiniso, angazi lutho ngo-"Jim." Mhlawumbe kungaba usizo
kuye ukuze ezwe imivuzo yokuhlala athule alalele. Kodwa uye
ukhona owabuza ukuthi ulaleleni?? Kuthiwani uma inkulumo - nezinye isikole
impahla, ngalolo daba - kwakudingeka ukuthi "ifanele" okungenani
Amaphesenti angu-80 esikhathi? Kuthiwani uma ochwepheshe bebeka amandla amancane ekulinganiseni
nokwahlulela ukuhlobana kwamazwana kaJim, futhi esikhundleni salokho wasebenza ukuze aqinisekise lokho
okuqukethwe kanye nendlela yokuxhumana ibiheha? Kuthiwani uma, kunalokho
kunokumbambatha okwehlisa isithunzi okuzilawulayo emhlane, umvuzo kaJim kwaba
inqubo ngokwayo - isipiliyoni sokuba khona kokuthile lokho
waba nesithakazelo noma wamshukumisa?
Lokho ochwepheshe abasidluliselayo emizamweni yabo yokubhekana nekaJim
"ukuntuleka kwekhono," kungukuthi abakholelwa kakhulu emandleni kaJim
bahlanganyele ezweni elimzungezile, futhi abanalo ukholo lokuthi isikole sikaJim
kungaheha.
Ngokusho kwalaba chwepheshe, uma uJim ephenduka inkanyezi encane yakhe
impumelelo, uzobe esefunde ukulandela iskripthi, aphendule izinkulumo ku
ngendlela ehleliwe, futhi azicabange eseqedile ngengxenye yomzamo wakhe
lapho esenze inani elifanele lokuphawula ngenani elilindelekile le
ukuhlobana, esikhundleni sokuzuza okuthile mathupha endabeni.
Nakuba ochwepheshe bezokuthuthukiswa kanye nokuziphatha bangase babe nokuthile okufanele
nikeza ezinye izingane, ngikholwa ukuthi ukunaka kochwepheshe kunganikezwa kangcono
ukuhlola nokuguqula izinhlobo zezikhungo nokwesekwa esinakho
etholakalayo izingane kanye nemindeni, kanye nokuhlonza umphakathi omkhulu
izifo ezilimaza izingane zethu (njenge-homophobia). Masingadwebi imephu
indlela izingane zethu ezintula ngayo ekubhekaneni neziyaluyalu zomphakathi thina
zinqwabelanise phezu kwazo, bese uzama ukulungisa isimo ngokukhipha
ukuziphatha okuthile okuvela kubo.