Peters
The
Ingxaki ngezithethe zoSuku lukaMama kukuba zibethelela into endiyibiza ngokuba yi
Impembelelo yeteleskopu kooMama nabantwana babo. Iintsuku ezininzi zonyaka, azilingani
ityala libekwe kooMama ngeentsilelo zabantwana babo. NgoMhla woMama, banjalo
inqulwa bucala.
Khumbula uSmokey iBhere, kunye nesiluleko sakhe esikhuthazayo sokuba nguwe wedwa
yayinokuthintela ukutsha kwamahlathi?
Ke kunjalo
inomama bale mihla. Nguwe kuphela, Mama, onokuthi uqinisekise ukuzithemba komntwana wakho,
ukulungela ukufunda, ukuhlalisana, ukomelela komzimba, ukhuseleko lobuqu, kunye nokuziphatha
uthe tye. Kuya kufuneka uthethe amagama afanelekileyo, uziqhelanise namasiko abhalwe ngexesha lokulala,
Ukubonelela ngenani elimiselweyo lemizuzu yexesha elisemgangathweni ngosuku, thenga
iimveliso ezifanelekileyo, ukunika uvuselelo olufanelekileyo ubudala, kunye nokusebenza ixesha elizeleyo (okanye
hayi) ngokuxhomekeke kuphononongo lwamva nje kunye/okanye imigaqo-nkqubo yamva nje yokohlwaya yentlalo-ntle.
Makhe
thatha igunya lokwakha ukuzithemba. Kule nto, sinikwa ubungakanani kunye
izikhokelo zomgangatho, kunye neepropu eziluncedo. IBoston Globe yokukhathalela abantwana
ikholamu isiyala ukuba sidumise abantwana bethu ubuncinane amaxesha ama-5 ngosuku. Wasekhaya
i-ofisi kagqirha inika amaphecana aquka amabinzana akhethwayo okunikezela
dumisani. ILadies Home Journal yangoku (May 2001) ibandakanya inqaku lika
umfazi okhulisa ukuzithemba kwentombi yakhe eneminyaka emi-5 ngokuyifundisa ukuba njani
ukubhabha. Ubalelwa ukuba ukwazi ukuyilawula into efana nenqwelomoya kuya kwenza
nceda intombi yakhe ukuba izive kamnandi ngayo, iya kuba lula ngakumbi imozulu kamva
ukuphoxeka njengokungalenzi iqela le-cheerleading, umzekelo. Umculo
ikhasethi ethe ngandlel' ithile yafumana indlela kubomi babantwana bam inengoma emalunga nayo
ukuthanda onke amalungu ahlukeneyo omzimba wakho: “Kwaye ndiyathanda impumlo yam. Ndiyathanda
indlela evuthuza ngayo…” Ilizwi elikhalayo lithi: “Ndiyathanda mna. Ndikulungele ukuba njalo.”
The
inkathazo nayo yonke le ngcebiso ingcali kunye jingles-ukwakha ngomnwe-ego yi
ukuba bubuvuvu obu, kwaye wonke umntwana ophaphileyo uyayazi loo nto. Ngoba? Ngenxa yokuba
ubungqina obuninzi benkcubeko ethandwayo kukuba awunguye ngokuqinisekileyo
kulungile mna ukuba ngaphandle kokuba kwenzeke ukuba wazalwa iseti emxinwa kakhulu
iimpawu zomzimba ezamkelekileyo. Akukho mfihlakalo ukuba zithini na ezo: abafana abalungileyo
kunye neegals kwiimuvi zeDisney zinezo mpawu. Abantu ababi kunye neegals abakwenzi.
Moms
nabo baphethe into eyaziwa ngabantwana babo. Isibongozo samva nje esivela kwinkampani
ethengisa iividiyo zolwimi ibuza ngombhalo omkhulu ongqindilili: “Ngaba umntwana wakho uthetha kuphela
ulwimi olunye?” Iphuma njengesityholo. Abazali abangaqinisekanga, benza
akukho nto ingaphaya kokuhlela imeyile engabalulekanga kumgqomo wokurisayikilisha, ngequbuliso
ukuphoswa kumzuzu wokuzithandabuza. "Ewe. Enyanisweni, umntwana wam uthetha enye KUPHELA
ulwimi. Yaye kungenxa yokuba ndiye ndatyeshela ukubonelela ngale mfundo ikhuthazayo
funda ividiyo yolwimi lwesibini. Ndifeyile umntwana wam!” Ewe, ngokwenene, Mama. Yiyo
konke ngawe. NguWE kuphela onokuthi uthintele i-monolingism!
kuba
oomama nabantwana, indalo iphela yezinto ezintsonkothileyo zoluntu ekuhlaleni
kunye nosapho, kwaye ngokunxulumene ezahlukeneyo amaziko ezentlalo, hayi ukuba
khankanya ibhayoloji, icuthelwe kumboneleli omnye wamagalelo (uMama) regurgitator ye
iziphumo (Kid). NgoMhla woMama, oMama bavuzwa ngamakhadi eHallmark, iintyatyambo,
kunye neempahla zabathengi ezenzelwe ukubonisa uxabiso ngako konke akunikayo - a
isithethe esiyibethelela kakuhle ingcamango yokuba yonke into iqala ize iphele ngoMama.
Yinyani,
ubudlelwane phakathi kukamama nomntwana lolona lwalamano lusondeleyo. Kodwa yi-
ibhondi yabantu, hayi ubungakanani obunokulinganiswa, umjelo ofanelekileyo wempahla kunye neenkonzo kunye
izixhobo eziphuma kumzali ukuya kubantwana. NgoSuku loMama, kulo nyaka, masenze
gqabhuka iqamza labucala elingqonge ukuba ngumama. Masi “sondeze” ukusuka
Ubudlelwane obuncinci boomama nabantwana, kwaye babhiyozele uSuku loMama ngo
ukutshintsha imeko enkulu esisebenza kuyo.
Kwi-yam
ebumelwaneni eBoston, ezinye zeendlela ezinkulu ziya kuvalwa ngoMhla woMama.
Iqumrhu lemibutho yasekuhlaleni libambe umnyhadala oza kuthatha usuku
ulwazi malunga neendlela iipaki kunye nezitrato zedolophu ezinokuba nobuhlobo ngakumbi kuzo
abahambi ngeenyawo nabakhweli beebhayisikile. Ndiyawuthanda lo mbono. Abantwana baya kukhuseleka ngakumbi kwi
Izitrato, baya kuphefumla umoya ongcolisekileyo kancinci, baya kunxulumana ngakumbi nabamelwane,
wonwabe kakhulu, kwaye ufunde into malunga nezinye ezothutho, kwaye -
eyona nto ingcono kakhulu - akukho nanye iya kuba ngenxa ye-micromangagement yomama omnye-on-one.
Kwisiganeko esinje, sibona inethiwekhi yoluntu (kungekhona nje uMama!) Idala iwebhu ye
uluntu, ukondla, kunye neempembelelo ezintle.
le
Isiganeko saselumelwaneni sandikhuthaza ukuba ndicinge ngezinye iindlela esinokulahla ngazo
iteleskopu, kwaye babeke imbeko koomama ngokuphakamisa imithwalo yabo kunye nokwabelana nabo
uxanduva. Nazi iingcebiso ezimbalwa ezithozamileyo kwaye ezingenamkhethe.
Lungiselela kwakhona izixhobo zokubala iilekese ukuze zingabi ncam ubude babafundi abaninzi abangekaqala ukuya esikolweni.
Cinga ngoxinezeleko oluya kulunciphisa kubomi boomama abaninzi. Khawube nomfanekiso ulindile
emgceni kwikhawuntara yokuphuma kwaye AKUFUNEKA uqhube uphazamiseko phakathi kwakho
kid kunye neentlobo ezimangalisayo zokuguqulwa kwesiraphu yombona ehonjiswe ngamehlo
inqanaba. Okona kubhetele, buyisela itshungama kunye nelekese ngokutya okupheleleyo, okufana neziqhamo.
Awuzukwenza ubomi bube lula kuMama kuphela, ubuya kube unceda umntwana ukuba afumane
ukukhonza kwelinye lala maqela okutya ayimfuneko esihlala sisiva ngawo.
acocekileyo
phezulu kwiipaki kunye neendawo eziluhlaza. Yeka ukuzitshiza ngezibulali zinambuzane. Into
ayilunganga xa kufuneka ndiyalele abantwana bam ukuba bangadlali engceni kuba abo
iimpawu ezincinci ziphezulu kuyo yonke indawo zicebisa ukuba, ngenxa yosetyenziso lwakutsha nje lwe
umbulali wokhula, abanini-zinja kufuneka bagcine izinja zabo kude. Ayithethi nto
malunga nabantwana, kodwa umntu kufuneka acinge ukuba ukuba ayikhuselekanga kwizinja… Okwangoku,
Ndenze konke okusemandleni am ukubafundisa ngenkunkuma, ndivumela ilitye labo elahlukileyo
ingqokelela, kunye nothando lwentombi yam endala “ngezinto zentsimbi.” Sekunjalo,
ukufun' ukwazi kwabo kukhokelela ekufumaneni iikhondom ezisetyenzisiweyo, umzekelo, ekufuneka ndiyenze
uze neengcaciso ezifanelekileyo neminyaka. Kwaye xa umntwana wam oneminyaka emihlanu ekhomba a
inaliti ye-hypodermic ecaleni kwendlela, kwaye ithi, “Khangela! Izinto zikaGqirha,” ndichitha ixesha
imini yonke ndinexhala lokuba zeziphi ezinye iingozi endizilibeleyo
mlumkise malunga nezifundo zethu zabucala zomntu ngamnye "Iingozi zePaki".
Yazisa ulwayiko olukhulu lwabathengi beDisney nabo bonke ubuhlanga, ucalucalulo ngokwesini, kunye
umfanekiso wodidi. Kwimuvi yakutsha nje egxeka iimveliso zeDisney, umama
ichaza indlela unyana wakhe weva ngayo abantu base-Afrika baseMelika bethetha kwindlela engaphantsi, wathi
unina, “Owu, ziingcukazana.” Kwamthatha nje umzuzwana ukuba umama
khumbula indlela ilizwi elithetha ngayo iingcuka ezimbi kwiDisney ethi "The Lion King"
wathetha ngesiNgesi esiNtsundu. Ukuhamba kude kwiimuvi zeDisney ezinobuhlanga
ukutolikwa kwabantu abaNtsundu makungabi yinto yabucala kumama kwaye
umntwana ukuba asebenze. Yingxaki yoluntu, kwaye ifuna isisombululo sikawonke-wonke. Thina
bonke banoxanduva lokuba abantwana bethu babhentsiswe kwindelelo
ukuboniswa kwamantombazana, abafazi, abantu bebala, kunye nabangenabutyebi
eklasini.
ezinye
ezinye izipho zoSuku lukaMama eziya kunceda ngokwenene oomama bazive beqondwa kwaye
ixabiso? Imivuzo eyaneleyo, i-inshurensi yezempilo kubo bonke, izikolo ezisemgangathweni, ukukhankanya ezimbalwa.
kuba
Usuku loMama kulo nyaka, ngokuqinisekileyo andichasanga isidlo sakusasa ebhedini. Kodwa nini
iza kubo bonke ubutyebi kunye noxanduva lobuzali, ndizimisele
yabelana ngobutyebi.