Amathambo am angawaphula iintonga namatye, kodwa amazwi awasoze andenzakalise. Ihamba ke imvano-siphelo ye-nursery. Kodwa sonke siyazi ukuba akuyonyani. โAmazwi,โ ngakumbi xa esetyenziswa ngokuchasene nabantu ababejongelwe phantsi okanye abacinezelekileyo asinceda ukuba siyifake ngaphakathi ingcinezelo yethu. Okona kubi kakhulu, impembelelo "yamagama" ibangela ukulimala ngokomzimba, njengoxinzelelo, kunye nokusixhaphaza ukuba samkele ukuba sifanelwe ukuphathwa kakubi, ubundlobongela bentlupheko kunye nokungabi namandla, njl. njl. โ kunye โnamatye.โ Okona kulungileyo, ukufakwa ngaphakathi kwamagama kunye nokubandakanyeka kumlo wobuqu ngokuchasene nawo kudala imiqobo ekuthatheni kwethu inxaxheba ngokupheleleyo - eluntwini nakwiintshukumo zethu zobulungisa kwezentlalo. Amagama anokudinwa.
Xa ndandineminyaka eyi-17, ndahamba nomfana endandithandana naye. Njengoko ndandibaleka ndingena emanzini, wathi, โYintoni le idlala kangaka ngemizimba yamantombazana?โ Ngaphambi kwaloo mzuzu, andikhumbuli ndikhe ndacinga ngokudlala. Ngokuqinisekileyo andizange ndicinge ukuzivavanya okanye nabani na ngokumalunga nokujijisana. Kangangeminyaka eli-17 ngaphambi kwaloo mzuzu, ndandisebenzisa amandla angekhoyo ekujuxuzeni. Akunjalo kwiminyaka engama-37 eyalandelayo.
Ngaloo mini echibini, ndiba nomfanekiso wam ndikhawulezisa ukuze ndintywilise ngokukhawuleza iindawo ezishukumayo. Ukusukela ngoko, umbuzo wokulawula / ukuntywila / ukufihla i-jiggle uye wajinga engqondweni yam, engacelwanga kwaye ephazamisayo echitha amandla. Ewe ndiyasebenza ukuba ndingathobeki kuyo, kodwa leliphi ishishini elidlayo - elihlala lisebenza ngokuchasene nombono wokuba kukho into engalunganga ngam, ngakumbi ubufazi bam.
Ndalibalisa eli bali kwintombi yam eneminyaka eli-19 ubudala, yaza yaphendula yathi, โNdinebali elinjalo kuwo onke amalungu omzimba wam.
Eyintetho etyumzayo, ebuhlungu. Kuthetha ukuba kwasebuntwaneni (ucinga malunga ne-11), waqala ukubona amalungu akhe omzimba ngokwezigwebo zabanye abantu. Ezinye zezigwebo zazibonakala zingenatyala, zineenjongo ezintle. Ukhumbula ukuba enye yazo yayingendlela โanemilenze emihle emideโ ngayo. Impendulo yakhe yangaphandle: "Owu, enkosi." Impendulo yakhe yangaphakathi yayisithi โOwu. Bendingayazi ukuba yinto nje leyo,โ kwaye emva koko ndiyibeke kwikhathalogu kunye noluhlu olukhulayo lwamalungu omzimba afuna ukuboniswa okanye ukwenziwa mbuna okanye ukulawula ihlazo lakho ngokunxulumene.
Ngokucacileyo abasetyhini kuphela abantu ekufuneka balawule amazwi anjalo. Abantu bebala, abantu abakhubazekileyo, abantu be-LGBTQ - nabani na ojongelwe phantsi ziinkqubo zengcinezelo kufuneka alawule uthotho lwamagqabaza, imiyalezo yemidiya, kunye nezincomo ezibonakala zingenatyala ezisiyilayo - ngendlela enye okanye enye - njengengaphelelanga, ngokungaphelelanga. umntu. Ngokoqobo.
Kudederhu lweevenkile nentombi yam, sihamba ecaleni komzimba wendoda yendoda. Akukho ntloko. Akukho milenze. Ndinxibe ibra ne panty. Indlela endisabela ngayo yi-visceral. Ndifuna ukuyityumza. Kutheni kufuneka sibone le nto? Ayiwaphuli amathambo am, kodwa ivakala ngathi yimfazwe ephantsi kakhulu ngokuchasene nam, intombi yam, enye intombi yam, kunye nazo zonke iintombi kwihlabathi liphela. Iyaphula intliziyo yam, indicaphukise, kwaye indenza ndifune ukuziqhelanisa nayo nayiphi na into enokuthi ijongwe njenge stereotypically yobufazi, ngelixa kwangaxeshanye indenza ndizibuze ukuba ndingayihlaziya na ingqokelela yam yangaphantsi. (Ndikuxelele ukuba oku kuyadinisa!)
Umsebenzi awukho nje ukufihla i-jiggle, uyabona, kukukhuthaza ukuxubha okanye kunoko uhlobo oluthile lwe-jiggle, nje ukuba i-jiggle iza kwimilinganiselo efanelekileyo kwaye ihonjiswe ukuba ibonakale ikhohlakele kwaye inyulu ngaxeshanye.
Imizimba yamadoda isetyenziselwa ukuthengisa iimveliso ngokunjalo, kunjalo, kodwa kungekhona ngendlela efanayo. Azinqunyulwa zibe ziinxalenye ezifana nemizimba yabasetyhini, kwaye nangayiphi na imeko amadoda (ingakumbi amadoda amhlophe) anokufikelela kuthotho olukhulu lweminye imiyalezo malunga nabo. Amadoda amhlophe ahlala eboniswa njengabantu abapheleleyo, nokuba yintoni inkangeleko yabo, ebaluleke kakhulu ngenxa yezizathu ezininzi. Njengoko sihamba ngakwilayisi ehonjiswe ngelayisi, mna nentombi yam sitshintshiselana ngokujonga kwaye ngaxeshanye sijike amehlo. Esi senzo sincinci sindikhumbuza ukuba yintoni encedayo kwezi meko, kwaye lumanyano olo. Unxibelelwano lokwenyani nabantu abagxininisa ekusiboneni singabantu abapheleleyo kwaye abangayi kusishiya sodwa ukuze sithintele umlo ophantsi kakhulu - la ngawona mayeza angcono okuphelisa ingcinezelo yangaphakathi, kwaye ayisongezo kumlo wethu ochasene nengcinezelo yangaphandle. ingcinezelo, kodwa izinto ezibalulekileyo kuyo.
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Nikela