(Image: Pariplab Chakraborty)

Excuse me, did you say the capital city of Delhi – new and old – has been suffering because Arvind Kejriwal is a naughty boy?

Not so.

Not Kejriwal but the citizens who mindlessly keep electing him and his parvenu party are the disaffected naughty boy.

First there were the interminable 15 years of Sheila Dixit and the decrepit Congress, and then 10 more of Kejriwal and his so-called Aam Aadmi Party.

Unbearably galling that a beloved Delhi in which the King hath his abode should be without the King’s party in power.

“Double engine” here and there, but not where the seat is the most puissant.

Imagine that it was the late Madan Lal Khurana who first demanded full statehood for Delhi; and now to have Hastinapur ruled by a mere yesterday’s nobody.

As if the people’s mandate may override the centuries of Hindu sacredness that suffuses the ancient metropolis.

So, if the principle of representation means that “we, the people” will turn their back on the King’s party which alone holds the patent to that sacred trust, then clearly, the principle of representation must go.

Indeed, this outdated principle has disappeared in the Union Territory of Jammu and Kashmir, the crown of Brahminical knowledge that remained subjugated by forces inimical to that storehouse of gyan.

Only blind-sided democrats will deny how that hitherto thwarted state has flourished in all sorts of ways (too subtle to be enumerated) since the eradication of the plebeian principle of representation in favour of rule by the King’s enlightened emissary.

The point is simple: either “we the people” have the good sense and loyalty to elect the King’s party everywhere, or else the “basic structure” (fah!) of representative governance must yield to the superior structure of a revived Princely arrangement, with the Lieutenant Governors and Governors, as the case may be, re-christened as Princes who must be understood to be imbued with the flawless virtues of the King who, like the Bard, “past, present, and future sees.”

Rather than have tin-horn legislators exercise powers over administration, the realm is best handed over to a new, evolved managerial elite, savvy in digital technologies, commercial wizardries and no nonsense spot-decisions, all reporting to the flawless King, without having to show their tool kits to representative busybodies.

Think how this arrangement would save the republic all the redundant chipper chapper – fashionably called democratic debate – and also the contentious public scrutiny. It will quicken the delivery of measures thought best by the aforesaid elite for the “development” of corporate coffers – warlike munitions guaranteed to deter enemies big and small with the thunder of the Vishwa Guru’s unchallengeable snarl.

Fortunately, there are yet some few political outfits that see the grand clarity of these ideas, so that a Biju Janata Dal, a Yuvajana Sramika Rythu Congress Party, etc. may be lauded for setting an example for others to follow before time runs out for them.

Come the fatal year of 2024, and the outdated constitution that makes such fetish of the principle of representation could be ready to be rearranged, following the example of the stout Russian Federation, making it lawful for the King to administer the realm till the expiry of his natural life.

What promise of stability that, imagine, even if the republic may lose the “public” part and retain just the royal “re” betokening “regality”.

Think that some other countries seem ahead in these advanced imaginings, while Bharat still lacks the courage of conviction, squeamishly still adhering to the electoral principle, even if only to consolidate monarchy rather sheepishly to the world.

So, there is the answer to Delhi’s problems, and, by extension to all those un-evolved parts of the republic which still choose to reject the munificence that issues from committing to “elect” only the King’s men and women.

Why then should a Delhi or a Jammu and Kashmir have recourse to a fruitless “representative” assembly of spoilers? Or to self-important chief ministers who wish to put themselves above the superior mandate and all-knowing expertise of sundry bureaucrats and techno-savvy elites who alone can show the way to profit maximisation and the fearful force of centralised political gunpowder.

As to educating our young and aspiring generations who would rather die for the nation than live for it sensibly, let it suffice to have them read the Saffron book of Mann Ki Baat, emulating the prophetic examples of Mao Zedong’s Red Book and Muammar Gadaffi’s Green book.

It is indeed most heartening that such is intended for the Union Territory of Jammu and Kashmir – a stroke of genius guaranteed to bring back to the straight and narrow all those whose impressionable minds wander into questioning pathways.

Not in a millennium has ever any part of the globe been blessed with a Kingship as everywhere and as ready-to-the-task as is Bharat, and as faultless in all matters that touch the lives of gawking hoi polloi.

Make the best use of that good fortune and stop fretting about the disappearance of the representative principle, and about the constitutional rights of elected assemblies.

How many have a King who is omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent, we ask you?

This sort of uninspiring talk belongs to I.N.D.I.A, not to the NDA .

So time to follow the leader who personifies NDA, meaning “Naturally Divine Authority” bestowed per immaculate design upon him by the powers above.

Next to those uncontestable powers, what is the meaning of the divisive, perverse, and noisy rigmarole of earthly representation?

Ask the mighty Donald Trump, pal of our great King. He would applaud this our enterprise to the echo that would applaud again.

Observe how the mighty Trump’s devoted legions refuse to be taken in by the representative system and its agencies, knowing a priori that he is surely a much-maligned victim of fake representativeness.

Not until we participate dutifully in the evolution of the democratic principle to its acme in monarchy, can we make Bharat great again.

As to parliament’s no-gooders demanding that the King come speak to them in the supposedly hallowed Houses, let them remember that it is not Mohammed who goes to the mountain, but the mountain which comes to Mohammed.

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The above article is satire.

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