Yes, I am Muamma, Muammaspalax Gaddafbergi to be precise, commonly known as a Middle Eastern Mole Rat.  Oh yes, some may consider this an insult, but I am proud of my ancestry.  How else could I be the longest serving ruler on/in this earth? — except of course, for the Queen of England with whom I have a lot in common; for example, I don't do the day-to-day running of my country.

And, I also don't serve as torture center for those northern white moles like my cousin, Mubarospalax  puppetbergi does.  He just disappeared like the earthworm he turned out to be.  No, those neighbors of mine have been jackasses for a long time.  His predecessor thought he was buying gradual freedom for our Palestinian cousins when he signed that peace treaty … got himself killed instead.  No wonder his boss Nasser used a French play on his name Anwar, and always called him Ane Noir — Black Ass to those of you who don't know French.  See, I am quite accomplished, and my beoble love me — at least the ones around me.

Some say I am crazy, living in a tent.  But, if I make a tent of mud and burrow in my labyrinth of tunnels, you can't find me or kill me.  Yes, they have all tried.  i just move my tent.  Will they get me this time … this bunch of ingrates?  Well, we'll have to see.  Oops!  bad noises coming this way — I've gotta go.  But don't worry, you'll be hearing from me soon.  I'm a survivor … at least until now.

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