We’ve probably all heard past “scientific theories” of what the world rests on. There’s Atlas’s shoulder, begging the question, “What’s Atlas standing on?” There’s the comforting children’s song “He’s got the whole world in his hands.” And there’s the turtle theory: The world is sitting on the back of a turtle, and it’s turtles all the way down – but to what?

The human mind can’t fathom the noumenon; it can only handle the world of phenomenon. The mind is limited by space, time, and causation, so eternities, infinitudes, and first causes are not in its purview. Hence, these concepts are not in the purview of science either.

Intelligent Design has as little to do with science as the ancient Hindu “Cosmic Egg” creation story. The mind will always look for the chicken that laid the egg, and there is no chicken. There’s just the egg. One can marvel at the “grandeur of reason incarnate in existence,” to quote Einstein, but the mind can’t say a peep about the absolute nature of the Reasoner behind (or in front, slightly to the left, or under or above) it all. If scientists happen to be inspired by one or another ancient myths or by the wonder of the order and intelligence in the universe during their research hours, that’s great. But that’s as far as science and the mind can go.

Intelligent Design is a failure as a scientific theory for these reasons. Worse, it is a political attempt to dumb down and entire nation. We might very well become the laughing stock of the world if we did something as scientifically suicidal as give “both sides,” as President Bush, who never worked a day in his life as a scientist, urges. There are no both sides to this issue at all. There may be many minor sides in the scientific community when it comes to the details of evolution, but the case is closed, and Intelligent Design, along with Genesis and Creationism, the virgin birth, the Cosmic Egg, Zeus on Olympus, and Ptah and Osiris, belongs in the Humanities department of schools under the heading “Some strange and interesting things human beings once believed or still believe.”

The religious right hated that abortion was made legal by the judiciary, not legislative branch of government, meaning by a select few. It probably feels the same way about the elite few scientists that keep creationism out of science courses.

But extreme religionists have it backwards, and that’s likely why science bothers them so much. They are in the minority, and it is they, more than anyone, who consider themselves the elite, the saviors, and the chosen – by (their) God. Only someone with a savior complex would be attracted to the worship of an image of God that is the only true savior of the world, relegating the rest of humanity to ignorance and suffering for not getting it. Only those so cock sure of themselves would ever think to push Intelligent Design into science classes and evolution out by political means, demeaning science to the work of peons who don’t spiritually know any better, but who had better forget evolution and get busy with real science – making fun new gadgets they can buy at the real center of our materialistic lives, Wal-Mart – America’s true church.

Every scientist knows that such cock surety is the kiss of death to the scientific method because it limits the questions one is willing and able to ask, let alone research to find the answers for. But no surprise there! When’s the last time you heard of a scientific breakthrough happening from Bible study or Mass? Since religion has been with us for centuries, it’s natural that many scientists will have been raised to believe in religious doctrines. But even when they gave credit to God or faith, behind that humility is years and years of the real fire of penance – research.

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