I-Super Bowl yayizolo ebusuku bekuyi-Roman Vomitorium yokuphalaza okucasulayo. Lokhu kwakungekona okuhle, okubi, nokubi. Kwakuyi-dreary, embi, kanye ne-insipid eyenziwe yaba mnandi kuphela umcabango kaMike Ditka endaweni emnyama ephuza isibhamu se-whisky, ejahwa ngokukhishwa okunosawoti okubizwa ngabantu izinyembezi.

Umdlalo ngokwawo, ongaphezu kwama-Super Bowls amaningi, awusebenzisanga kahle isizini ye-NFL ejabulisayo. Naphezu kokuvula ngogesi i-Devin Hester 92 yard iqala ukubuya, ivele yaphenduka isithukuthezi esibi njengoba ibhola nemvula enyakazayo kuhlangene ukudala okuthile okuseduze ne-Poseidon Adventure kunomdlalo webhola.

Umhlaziyi Wemibala uPhil Simms usitshele kusenesikhathi ukuthi “isimo sezulu ngeke sibe nomthelela.” Hhayi njengoba sitshelwe ukuthi “ukuvukela umbuso sekuphelile” ithelevishini ethandekayo, engenacala ikhiphe ubulima obunjalo. Ngokuncoma kwe-NFL–mhlawumbe ngokweseluleko esivela kongqondongqondo e-Halliburton?–inkambu ishiywe ingamboziwe usuku lonke. Ngenxa yalokhu, kube nama-turnovers ayisishiyagalombili kulo mdlalo, amaphutha amahlanu esiwombeni sokuqala. Okubi nakakhulu, naphezu kokutshalwa kwezimali kwe-CBS kumakhamera we-47 High Definition, amalensi abelokhu enenkungu. Kwaba sengathi uCujo wayehlasela isikrini, ezama ukubhuquza kuwo wonke ama-pretzels ami.

Yebo, umdlalo wawuseduze, kodwa lapho isithombe sifika esikrinini sokuthi ama-Colts ayenokwehla kwe-20 kokuqala kwe-Bears 'mane, kwaqinisekisa kuphela umbono wami wokuthi kwenzekani ngempela: ukungafani okungalungile.

Njengoba kuvame ukwenzeka kuma-Super Bowls, ama-Bears aphelelwe yithemba esiwombeni sesibili, okusho ukuthi umdlali wabo wasemuva ongenalo usizi, u-Rex Grossman, waqala ukubhuqa izigwaca zakhe ezidumile ezifayo inkundla yonke. Wajikijela amadada amaningi lawa aqhugayo, unenhlanhla uDick Cheney akazange aqhamuke esitobhini ukuze amdubule ebusweni. Ngaleso sikhathi, kwakungekho bhuki ku-Reno obengakuvumela ukuthi ubheje ukuthi u-Rex uzophonsa umdlalo oyingozi eshintsha ukucasha, okwenzeka ngempela lapho u-Kelvin Hayden owayesene-11:44 kumdlalo, ebuyisela eyodwa ukuze athole amaphuzu. .

Uma igeyimu bekuyi-bust, okulingana ne-Titanic uma ifakwe inkanyezi u-Jim Nabors (Manning) no-Tara Reid (Grossman), uhlelo lwesigamu sehora bekuwukwehliswa kwezilinganiso ezinhle kimina. Ngiyamthanda uPrince. Phinda: Love Prince. Ngafunda ekolishi e-Twin Cities, ngabona i-His Purple Highness bukhoma, futhi ngangazi abesifazane abafunda ekolishi endaweni ngoba nje becabanga ukuthi bangase bahlangane naye.

Mhlawumbe bengilindele okungenangqondo ukuthi uPrince uzomenzela kangcono uJanet Jackson, futhi amenze ukubaneka kwengono enedumela elibi kubukeke njengokukhethekile kwe-Pax TV. Kodwa uPrince eminyakeni yamuva nje usephenduke uFakazi KaJehova, wagxeka inhlamba futhi waqala ukuzithwala ngendlela eyenza uTony Dungy abukeke njengoMarilyn Manson. Ngakho-ke bengingalindele inkosana ehlambalazayo “yeNhloko”, “Yehla,” noma ubuhlakani obunobuqili bobulili obuthile bokuthi “Ukube Ngangiyintombi Yakho”. KODWA uPrince, ecwecweni lakhe lango-2004 elithi Musicology, unengoma emnandi ekhuluma ngokucwasa ngama-Arab, ebizwa ngokuthi “Cinnamon Girl.” Ngakho ngicabange ukuthi singase sithole okuthile ngohlobo oluthile lokuqukethwe kwezepolitiki. Amathemba ami ayephezulu kakhulu. Kodwa ukubiza ukusebenza kwakhe, njengoba kwenza i-ESPN.com, "I-Badass: qala ukuqeda" kungenza ngizibuze ukuthi ibha ye-badass yehliswe kude kangakanani. Yebo wayebukeka emuhle ngaleso siginci esinsomi, kodwa wayedlala ikhava ethi “Proud Mary.” Dang, ngabe sengizinzile ku-“Little Red (Freakin') Corvette”!

Izwe laseMelika kungenzeka ukuthi seliqumbele iThe Kid, kodwa izinhliziyo ezingaphezu kwezimbalwa zaphukile ngasosebeni lweLake Minnetonka.

Ukube uPrince wayengumuntu ophoxekile, izikhangiso - ezihlala zigqamile - zazingenangqondo. Kunokuba ngibhale i-banal ehlanganisiwe, i-nihilistic, i-K-Federocity yakho konke, ngifuna ukugxila kweyodwa: isikhangiso se-Snickers lapho amadoda amabili aqabulana ngephutha abese eqhubeka nokuklebhula ezawo izinwele zesifuba emzamweni wokubuyisela “ubudoda” bawo. ” Lokhu kwagqama njengokuzivivinya okukhathele kakhulu, nokucwasa abantu abathandana nobulili obufanayo engike ngakubona kuthelevishini kusukela u-Rick Santorum echazela iMelika ukuthi ubudlelwano bezitabane bungafaniswa kanjani “nothando lwezinja”. (Ngokwerekhodi, ngingakuzonda ukufa nokuphindukuzalwa njenge-pooch yomndeni wakwa-Santorum.) Kwakuyi-nadir emcimbini waminyaka yonke webhizinisi waseMelika wethalente elichithiwe.

Ubusuku babuphenduka njengemayonnaise eshiywe kurediyetha, kwaze kwaba yikhefu lokuhweba ekuqaleni kwekota yesine. Maphakathi nalo mfula wemfucuza, kwaba umzuzwana-uhlamvu lwenjabulo-okwenza amahora angu-39 engiwachithe phambi kukamabonakude wami abe nesikhathi.

Ukuvela esikrinini bekungumuntu ojwayelekile onomugqa womaka,

"UJonathan Powers, i-Iraq War Vet." Wathi, “Uma kukhulunywa nge-Iraq, iMelika ihlukene phakathi.” Ama-hackles ami aphakanyiswa ngokushesha. YiSuper Bowl futhi ngangiqiniseka ukuthi ngase ngizotshelwa ukuthi sonke sasidinga ukunikeza uBush Ithuba.

Kodwa-ke uMnu. Powers wafiphala esikrinini, kwafakwa omunye udokotela wezilwane ogama lakhe linguBrian Van Ripe owathi. “Ngakolunye uhlangothi, unezingxenye ezimbili kwezintathu zabantu baseMelika…” Bese omunye udokotela wezilwane, uRobin Eckstein ethi “Iningi lama-bipartisan enkongolose, i-Iraq Study Group,…” bese kuthi omunye, uJoshua Lansdale: “Futhi omakadebona njengathi sonke. ngokumelene nokwenyuka. ” Omunye okuthiwa uRobert Loria, owanqunywa isitho, ethi, “Ngakolunye uhlangothi, kukhona uGeorge Bush, osekela ukwanda. Uma usekela ukushuba, awuwasekeli amasosha.” Ekugcineni udokotela wezilwane wokugcina. Andrew Horne, ethi “Joyina amasosha. Yeka ukukhuphuka.” (Bona lesi sikhangiso esinamandla kakhulu ku-votevets.org)

Kubonakala sengathi lesi sikhangiso bekuyisifunda, endaweni ye-DC/Virginia/Maryland, hhayi kuzwelonke. Ngamanye amazwi abantu abaningi kakhulu bavezwe kuKevin Federline kunaleli qoqo lamadoda nabesifazane abanesibindi. Kepha le ndawo yayinomdlalo wangempela nobuntu kunezinye amahora angama-38 nemizuzu engama-59 ye-treacle ihlangene. Indlu yami yabantu abaxokozelayo yathuliswa. Abamemezeli bakhuluma ngabadlali bebhola sengathi bangamasosha ohlobo oluthile lwempi. Kwakushesha futhi kukuhle ngisho ukubona ibhomu ehlangene yosuku ithotshiswe umoya ozolile weqiniso.

Dave Zirin ungumbhali wencwadi ezayo: "Siyakwamukela ku-Terrordome: The Pain, Politics and Promise of Sports" (Haymarket). Ungathola ikholamu yakhe ethi Edge of Sports, masonto onke nge-imeyili edgeofsports-subscribe@zirin.com. Xhumana naye ku edgeofsports@gmail.com

---