[Esi sincoko siyinxalenye ZNet Classics series. Amaxesha amathathu evekini siya kuphinda sithumele inqaku esicinga ukuba libaluleke kakhulu. Le yapapashwa okokuqala ngoAprili, 2002.]
Molo, ndinguNksk. Geoffrey. Ndikubhalela ndikwindlu yam yedolophu ebiza amanyala eHouston. NguAprili kwaye iintaka ziyantyiloza. Intwasahlobo isemoyeni. Kodwa ndiziva ndilusizi. Iphephandaba, elinenqaku elimalunga nekota yesigidi abaqhankqalazi abachasene nongxowankulu e-Barcelona, โโliwa lisuka ethangeni lam ukuya kwimigangatho ebiza kakhulu eyenziwe ngamaplanga aqinileyo egqunywe ngumbhobho ovela ePersi, oxabisa nje i-100,000 yeedola. Aba baqhankqalazi bezoyikeka, abanokuthi babenobundlobongela, babekhwaza izinto ezigulayo ezifana ne "Yidla iSityebi," "iYurophu ngoxolo noBulungisa," kwaye "Yenza Uthando Lungabi Yimfazwe."
Iinyembezi ziyabumba. Oh Thixo. Ndibambe i-80,000 yeedola zesafire ejinga entanyeni yamโisipho esivela kumyeni wam uGeoffrey. Kuya kwenzeka ntoni kuthi, ndiyakhala? Ngaba aba bachasene nongxowankulu (ngoko ke abanqolobi), abathanda uxolo (ngoko banobundlobongela), ukwenza uthando (ke ngoko amakhoboka eziyobisi athandana namanye amabhinqa) izigebenga ziya kuba yonke imali efunyenwe nzima umyeni wam uGeoffrey wayizuza njengelifa kuyisemkhulu owenza izigidi ngemfazwe kunye nokubandezeleka kwabantu, njengayo nayiphi na into. unongxowankulu olungileyo kufanele!? Ngaba baya kuwela i-Atlantiki, bangxamele phezulu kwi-driveway yezitena zesandla, banyathele kwikhaphethi yasePersi, ukuba bahlale phantsi kwisidlo sangokuhlwa apho ikhosi ephambili i-hobe en croute kunye nam?
Ndizama ukuziphazamisa ngomsebenzi, oko kukuthi, ndikhalela unobhala wam ukuze aqhubeke nokucwangcisa umtshato wentombi yam uLynn. NguLynn wesine nonobhala wam besixoxa ukuba kwamkelekile na ukuba anxibe ezimhlophe. Ngokutsho kwencwadi ye-etiquette ka-Emily Post ukususela ngo-1922, umtshakazi unxiba ezimhlophe kuphela kumtshato wakhe wokuqala. Emva koko yisuti enencasa, uhambo oluya kwiHolo yeSixeko, mhlawumbi isidlo sasemini, kunye nosapho olusondeleyo njengeendwendwe. Kodwa ngoku, ngokutsho ENew York Times kaMatshi 17, iigals zinokuthi โzihambeโโabahlobo abali-1,500, iiokhestra ezingama-80, ikeyiki enkulu, njalo njalo. Kodwa ke ndikhumbula ukuba kuya kuxabisa amawaka eedolaโiidola eziza kubiwa kuthi kungekudala ngabaphambuka boxolo nokusesikweni.
Ndigxotha unobhala wam. Andikwazi ukuyinyamezela into yokuba kungekudala kuza kufuneka ndimcele ukuba acuthe umvuzoโukususela kwi-$7 ngeyure ukuya kwii-R3.50. Ndizula-zula kwikhaya lam elithandekayo, iminwe icoca kancinci impahla yam yexabiso eliphezuluโidesika yenkulungwane ye-16, isitulo senkulungwane ye-18,โฆ
Iliso lam libona intshukumo ngaphandle kwi-driveway. Ngumfana ongenakhaya, etyhala inqwelo yokuthenga egcwele iibhotile kunye neetoti. Ndikhe ndavelana naye ngengxaki yakhe ndimjule โโngekota ukuba impelesi inokuba iwele kwi cushion ze couch, ngelixa ecoca. Ngoku, ndiyaqonda ukuba ungomnye waba banqolobi babasetyhini abaqhawule umtshato nabayeni babo, abasikhuphayo ngokuqhatha inkqubo yentlalontle, kwaye abafuna ukutshabalalisa ilungelo lam lokuba sisihlomelo sasekhaya / impahla. Yintoni engalunganga kwezi gals zingenamakhaya? Ndiyancuma. Kutheni bengahlali nabayeni babo!? Yintoni ephosakeleyo ngaloo madoda, ukungabahoyi abafazi nabantwana babo. Ndivula ifestile ndikhale emva kwakhe, โZifake izinto zokuthambisa uze uzifumanele indoda, sigebenga esilisela.โ
I-gal ibonakala ibhidekile kwaye ibambe i-coke can engenanto. Ndiyaphakuzela. Unebhombu, ndiyayazi. Kodwa inkonkxa iwa ngokungenabungozi emhlabeni kwaye igal ibaleka iyokwenza intywenka yemali ngokuphinda isetyenzisweโngokungathandabuzekiyo. Ndikhunjuzwa ukuba intshukumo yobukomanisi ibiyintoni na intshukumo yokusingqongileyo.
Kanye ngelo xesha umyeni wam uGeoffrey uyeza ekhaya kwaye ndikhalela isicakakazi kwaye ndiodole iicocktails. Molo, Geoffrey, ndibhale kwi-twitter. Smerf, utsho uGeoffrey ngothando. Undibuza ukuba kwenzeka ntoni. Ndimxelela ngemiboniso, ukutya izilogeni ezityebileyo, abanqolobi abangenamakhaya abangenamakhayaโzonke ziyaphalala, iinyembezi zisihla kwiglasi yam yeMartini. UGeoffrey uyavuma ukuba intshukumo yabasetyhini inoxanduva lwentlupheko kunye nobunqolobi, yintoni ngokwala kwabo ukuzithoba phantsi kwendoda kwaye balahle abantwana babo kumaziko okugcina abantwana.
Ndiyambulela uGeoffrey ngokundikhumbuza ngolonwabo lokuba yinxalenye yelifa lakhe, ngokwenyani. Oku kuyandiphazamisa kunxunguphalo lwam, yaye ndimkhumbuza ngomtshato wesine wentombi yethu owawulindele ukutshata. Ubonakala edidekile, esithi akazange aqonde ukuba u-Elizabeth uyatshata kwakhona. Ndimkhumbuza ngobunono ukuba igama lentombi yethu nguLynn (akakho sekhaya, kuba exakeke yimali nezinto ezinjalo) kwaye sixubusha ngomtshato noEmily Post kunye neholide yomtshato yenyanga yonke yesi sibini kwiiCayman Islands. Abazukulwana baya kuhlala nonina wabo, kunjalo, kuba ebakhulisile, kunjalo. Ngumsebenzi wakhe lowo yaye simhlawula kakuhle, ubuncinane ii-$4.50 ngeyure nosuku lwekhefu rhoqo ngenyanga okanye njalo. Emva koko sobabini siyaqonda ukuba uza kuxabisa malini umtshato kwaye ndiqala ukugrumba kwakhona.
Nje ukuba uGeoffrey endiqinisekisile ukuba akukho nto inokwenza isitofu kwisixa sobutyebi esikwaziyo ukusiqokelela ukusukela kwiminyaka yeReagan/Bushโanditsho nokuba umqhathi wentlalontle engenakhaya owalayo ukuhlala etshatile inokuba ngunobangela wobungxowankulu. ukuwa.
Endaweni yoko, uGeoffrey untywila kwi-plush rose egqunywe nge-silk damask chaise--intengiso ye-10,000 yeedola-kwigumbi lokuzoba kunye nokuncwina. Geoffrey, ndiyakhala, undixelele ukuba asonakaliswa. Ndixelele ukuba akusayi kunyanzeleka ukuba sihlwempuzeke, sifumana umvuzo wezigidi ezibini nje ngonyaka.
UGeoffrey uyavuma ukuba unexhala. UGeoffrey undixelela ngoEnron kunye nendlela aba batshutshisi abakhohlakeleyo abamenza ngayo u-Arthur Andersen ibhokhwe ka-Enron. UAndersen uye waba yifem yokuqala yobalo-mali ukuba ibekwe ityala lolwaphulo-mthetho. Ifem ingenzanga nto ingekho mthethweni, yenze nje impazamo yokungawahluli onke amaxwebhu e-Enron ukuze kungabikho mntu waziyo ukuba wenze into yolwaphulo-mthetho. Into enkulu, uyancwina uGeoffrey. Ekubeni i-capitalism, ngokwenkcazo, ulwaphulo-mthetho olusemthethweni, u-Andersen unokwenza njani nantoni na engekho mthethweni, ukuba ulandela?
UGeoffrey uthi uAndersen unokufuneka abhengeze ukubhanga, njengePolaroid. UGeoffrey uthi, umhlobo wethu osenyongweni, uJudith, wayeligosa eliyintloko lezemali ePolaroid kwaye emva kweminyaka emithathu yenkonzo ezinikeleyo, kwanyanzeleka ukuba ahambe nentlawulo eyi-$600,000 kuphela, ibhaso lesitokhwe se-$500,000, isheke yokuyeka i-$17,000, kunye nomsebenzi omtsha. iqela Dutch/Shell. Ndiyazibuza ngokufutshane ukuba kutheni uJudith engekho ekhaya edibanisa nefenitshala ebiza kakhulu, njengoko ndinjalo, kodwa uGeoffrey akabonakali ekhathazekile kwaye ndingubani ukuba ndingabuza uGeoffrey. Ke ndiyakhala ndothukile ngenxa yokungabikho kokusesikweni okwenziwa kwii-CEO zePolaroid. I-Geoffrey, ndiyakhwaza, kuya kuba njani kuthi, kubahlobo bethu abazizityebi, kunye ne-capitalism njengoko sisazi?
UGeoffrey uzama ukuvuselela umoya wam. Undixelela ukuba zonke iingcali ezimsulwa e-Arthur Anderson zihlala zinyanisekile kwinkampani; ndinebhongo ngokubasebenzela. Baza kuzilwela njani. Undixelela indlela uGeorge, iqabane elilawulayo kwiofisi yaseBoston, amxelele ngayo, โNdicinga ukuba singambetha urhulumente ngale nto, kodwa iyamangalisa indlela oziva ungenamandla ngayoโฆ. Abanye abantu babonakalise isigwebo esibi, kodwa olu luhlaselo lwenyukliyaโ (Boston Globe, ngoMatshi 16).
Ndincuma iinyembezi zam kwaye ndidlala umsesane wam wedayimani ongama-800,000 eerandi, isipho esivela kuGeoffrey kwisikhumbuzo somtshato wethu wokugqibela. Ewe, ndiyaphola, ndivakalelwa kukuba ezi nkampani zizigidi ngezigidi zeerandi zingenamandla kangakanani, zixhomekeke kwiimfuno zesebe lezobulungisa. Kodwa unyanisile, Geoffrey, ewe kufuneka bazilwele. Mhlawumbi bayakumatsha baye eWashington becula besithi โOongxowankulu baManyeneyo Abasokuze boyisweโ kwaye โbaShred okanye bafile.โ
Siyawolana; silumke singagqobhozeli iimpahla zexabiso esizinxibileyo. Ndiphinde ndonwabe. UGeoffrey, ndibhale kwi-twitter.
Mna noGeoffrey sisitya kumahobe en croute, eyona nto siyithandayo. Emva kwesidlo sangokuhlwa, sisonwabisa abanye babahlobo bethuโi-Bushes, abaphathi be-Enron, i-CEO ye-Anderson, njl. uGeoffrey. Sivalelisa kwiindwendwe zethu. UGeoffrey uye walungiselela ukudibana nabo ngosuku olulandelayo ukuze ancede ukucwangcisa i-Capitalist United ngemfazwe kunye nokungabikho kokusesikweni. UGeoffrey ucebisa ukuba ndiqalise iWelfare Wedding Inc. ukuze ndifumane imali ngesindululo sikaBush. UGeoffrey ujikela kum andibuze ukuba ndonwabile na sithandwa. Ewe, Geoffrey, ndiyabhadula. Nasiphi na isizathu esithile, uyabuza? Owu, ewe, Geoffrey, ndiyambombozela. Kungenxa yokuba sisityebi kakhulu. Z