Chimodzi mwazinthu zomwe zagawanitsa kwambiri kumanzere pankhani ya kugonana yakhala makampani ogonana - uhule, zolaula, mipiringidzo yovula, ndi mabizinesi ofanana. Otsutsa achikazi akhala akuyang'ana kwambiri za kuvulaza kwa amayi ndi ana m'machitidwe awa, pamene omasuka pa kugonana adanena kuti pasakhale zoletsa zamagulu, kapena nthawi zina ngakhale kutsutsa, zomwe zimaganiziridwa kukhala zosankha zaufulu za anthu.

Nkhaniyi imachokera ku kutsutsa kwakukulu kwa akazi, koma imayankhula mwachindunji kwa amuna ndi abambo. Imayang'ana mbali imodzi ya kugonana kwa mafakitale kwa chikhalidwe chamakono cha US, zolaula, koma mkangano umagwira ntchito kwambiri.

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Tisanafike pamakangano okhudza momwe tingatanthauzire zolaula, kapena ngati zolaula ndi nkhanza zokhudzana ndi kugonana zikugwirizana, kapena momwe Kusintha Koyamba kuyenera kugwiritsidwira ntchito pa zolaula, tiyeni tiyime kuti tiganizire mfundo ina yofunika kwambiri:

Kodi kukhalapo kwa makampani owonetsa zolaula a mabiliyoni ambiri kumanena chiyani za ife, za amuna?

Makamaka, "Blow Bang #4” kuti?

UMU NDI MMENE ZIMAONEKERA ZOLAULA

"Blow Bang #4” inali m'gawo la "zambiri" la malo ogulitsa mavidiyo akuluakulu. Pakafukufuku wa zolaula zomwe zagulitsidwa masiku ano, ndidafunsa anthu omwe amagwira ntchito kumeneko kuti andithandize kusankha makanema omwe amabwerekedwa ndi kasitomala. Imodzi mwa matepi 15 omwe ndidasiya nawo inali ya “Blow Bang #4. "

"Blow Bang #4” ndi: Zithunzi zisanu ndi zitatu zosiyana zimene mkazi amagwada pakati pa gulu la amuna atatu kapena asanu ndi atatu n’kumagonana m’kamwa. Kumapeto kwa chithunzi chilichonse, mwamuna aliyense amathira umuna kumaso kapena mkamwa mwa mkaziyo. Kubwereka kuchokera kukufotokozera komwe kuli m'bokosi la kanema, kanemayo ali ndi: "Tiana tinthu tating'ono tauve titazunguliridwa ndi atambala amphamvu ... ndipo amawakonda."

Mu chimodzi mwa zochitikazi, mtsikana wina atavala ngati wokondwerera akuzunguliridwa ndi amuna asanu ndi mmodzi. Kwa mphindi zisanu ndi ziwiri, "Dynamite" (dzina lomwe amatchula pa tepi) imachoka kwa munthu kupita kwa munthu pamene akupereka mawu achipongwe omwe amayamba ndi "hule iwe wamng'ono wa cheerleading" ndikukhala wonyansa kwambiri kuchokera pamenepo. Kwa mphindi imodzi ndi theka, amakhala mozondoka pampando, mutu wake ukulendewera m’mphepete, pamene amuna amalowetsa mkamwa mwake, zomwe zimamupangitsa kuti agwedezeke. Amakantha maonekedwe a mtsikana woipayo mpaka kumapeto. "Mumakonda kubwera pankhope yanga yokongola, sichoncho," akutero, akutulutsa umuna kumaso ndi mkamwa mwake mphindi ziwiri zomaliza za chochitikacho.

Amuna asanu amaliza. Wachisanu ndi chimodzi amakwera. Pamene akudikirira kuti atulutse umuna kumaso kwake, tsopano ataphimbidwa ndi umuna, amatseka maso ake mwamphamvu ndi grimaces. Kwa kanthawi, nkhope yake imasintha; n'zovuta kuwerenga maganizo ake, koma zikuoneka kuti akhoza kulira. Mwamuna womaliza, wa nambala XNUMX, atulutsa umuna, amatsitsimutsidwa ndikumwetulira. Kenako wofotokozerayo akumupatsa pom-pom yomwe adagwira koyambirira kwa tepiyo ndikuti, "Nayi cum mop yako, wokondedwa - kolopa." Amakwirira nkhope yake pom-pom. Chophimbacho chimazimiririka, ndipo iye wapita.

Mutha kubwereka "Blow Bang #4” pa $3 pa sitolo imene ndinapitako, kapena mugule pa intaneti pa $19.95. Kapena ngati mukufuna, mutha kuyang'ana imodzi mwamatepi ena asanu ndi limodzi pagulu la "Blow Bang". "Ngati mumakonda kuwona msungwana wina akuyamwa atambala nthawi imodzi, ndiye kuti uwu ndi mndandanda wanu," wolemba ndemanga akutero. "Ntchito ya kamera ndiyabwino kwambiri."

Ngakhale kuwunika kwachidule kwa zolaula kumawonetsa kuti ntchito yabwino yamakamera sichofunikira kuti apambane. "Blow Bang #4” ndi imodzi mwa mavidiyo olaula 11,000 atsopano amene amatulutsidwa chaka chilichonse, imodzi mwa matepi 721 miliyoni amene amabwereka chaka chilichonse m’dziko limene mavidiyo olaula amagulitsidwa ndi kubwereketsa ndalama pafupifupi $4 biliyoni pachaka.

Phindu la zolaula sizimadalira mtundu wa ntchito ya kamera koma kutha kupanga ma erection mwa amuna mwachangu. Pali mavidiyo ambiri olaula omwe alibe nkhanza kuposa "Blow Bang #4,” ndi zina zomwe zimakankhira kutali kwambiri kudera “lopambanitsa” lomwe lili ndi ziwawa zoonekeratu ndi kunyada. Kampani yomwe imapanga mndandanda wa "Blow Bang", Armageddon Productions, imadzitamandira pa imodzi mwamasamba ake kuti "Vivid Sucks / Armageddon Fucks," ikuwombera mbiri ya Vivid, m'modzi mwa atsogoleri amakampani omwe amadziwika ndi mavidiyo a tamer. makonda opangidwa mosasamala, kapena m'mawu ake a Vivid, "zosangalatsa zamakanema olaula zomwe zimagulitsidwa kwa mabanja."

UMU NDI MMENE KUSANGALALA KWA QUALITY EROTIC FILM KWA Msika WA MA COUPLES AKUONEKERA NGATI

"Delusional," kutulutsidwa kowoneka bwino mu 2000, ndi ina mwa matepi 15 omwe ndidawonera. M'mawonekedwe ake omaliza ogonana, wotsogolera wamwamuna (Randy) amati amakonda kutsogolera kwa akazi (Lindsay). Atazindikira kuti mwamuna wake wakhala akunyengerera, Lindsay adachedwa kulowa muubwenzi wina, akudikirira mwamuna woyenera - mwamuna womvera - kuti abwere. Zinkawoneka ngati Randy ndiye mwamunayo. “Nthaŵi zonse ndidzakhala pano kaamba ka iwe zivute zitani,” Randy akumuuza iye. "Ndingofuna kukuyang'anirani." Lindsay amasiya chitetezo chake, ndipo akukumbatirana.

Pambuyo pa mphindi zitatu za kupsompsona ndi kuchotsa zovala zawo, Lindsay akuyamba kugonana m'kamwa pa Randy atagwada pabedi, ndipo amamuchitira kugonana m'kamwa pamene akugona pabedi. Kenako amagonana, Lindsay akuti, "Ndigwereni, ndichiteni chonde" komanso "Ndili ndi zala ziwiri pabulu wanga - mumakonda zimenezo?" Izi zimabweretsa kupitilira kwanthawi zonse kwa maudindo: Ali pamwamba pake atakhala pampando, ndiyeno amamulowetsa kumaliseche kuchokera kumbuyo asanamufunse kuti, "Kodi mukufuna kuti ndikukambe pabulu?" Iye akuyankha motsimikiza; Iye anati: “Ndimangirire pabulu wanga. Pambuyo pa mphindi ziwiri za kugonana kumatako, zochitikazo zimatha ndi iye maliseche ndi kutulutsa umuna pa mabere ake.

Ndi malongosoledwe olondola ati a zomwe amuna amakono ku United States akufuna kugonana, Armagedo kapena Vivid? Funso likuganiza kusiyana kwakukulu pakati pa awiriwa; Yankho lake n’lakuti onse aŵiri amasonyeza mkhalidwe wofanana wa kugonana. "Blow Bang #4” imayamba ndi kutha ndi maganizo akuti akazi amangokhalira kusangalatsidwa ndi amuna ndipo amafuna kuti amuna azikodzera. "Delusional" imayamba ndi lingaliro lakuti akazi amafuna chinachake chosamala mwa mwamuna, koma amathera ndi kupempha kuti alowe m'matumbo ndikutulutsa umuna. Wina ndi wosautsa, winayo ndi woterera. Zonsezi zimayimira malingaliro amodzi olaula, momwe chisangalalo chachimuna chimatanthawuza kugonana ndi chisangalalo chachikazi ndi chochokera ku chisangalalo cha mwamuna. Mu zolaula, akazi amangochitika kuti amakonda ndendende zomwe amuna amakonda kuchita kwa iwo, ndipo zomwe amuna amakonda kuchita pa zolaula ndikuwongolera ndikugwiritsa ntchito, zomwe zimalola amuna omwe amawonera zolaula kuti azilamulira ndikugwiritsanso ntchito.

Ndikakamba nkhani zapoyera pa zolaula komanso kutsutsa kwachikazi pamakampani ogonana, ndimafotokoza - koma osawonetsa - makanema amtunduwu. Ndikufotokozeranso zamagulu ena amakampani, monga "kulowa kawiri," mchitidwe wamba womwe mkazi amalowetsedwa ndi maliseche a amuna awiri, kumaliseche ndi kumatako, nthawi imodzi, ndipo m'ziwonetsero zina mkazi amachitanso pakamwa. kugonana pa mwamuna wachitatu nthawi yomweyo. Ndimalongosola kuti pafupifupi chithunzi chilichonse chogonana chimatha ndi mwamuna kapena abambo akukodzera mkazi, nthawi zambiri kumaso, zomwe makampani amatcha "nkhope."

Anthu ambiri mwa omvera, makamaka amayi, amandiuza kuti zimawavuta kumva za zinthu izi, ngakhale pamene zochitikazo zikufotokozedwa ndi mtundu wa gulu lachipatala lomwe ndimayesetsa kusunga. Mayi wina anadza kwa ine nditamaliza kuphunzira nati, “Zimene wanena zinali zofunika, koma ndikanakonda ndikanapanda kukhala kuno. Ndikanakonda sindimadziwa zomwe mwatiuza. Ndikanakonda ndikanaiwala.”

Kwa amayi ambiri omwe amadzimva kuti akugonjetsedwa kwambiri podziwa, gawo lovutitsa kwambiri silikuwoneka kuti likungophunzira zomwe zili m'mavidiyo koma kudziwa kuti amuna amapeza chisangalalo ndi zomwe zili m'mavidiyo. Iwo amandifunsa ine, mobwereza bwereza, “Nchifukwa chiyani amuna amatero? Mukupeza chiyani pa izi? Iwo akufuna kudziwa chifukwa chake amuna ambiri ogula amawononga ndalama zokwana madola 10 biliyoni pachaka poonera zolaula ku United States ndi madola 56 biliyoni padziko lonse.

Ndi funso lofunika lomwe, mosakayikira, mayankho ovuta. Zikunena chiyani za gulu lathu pamene abambo adzatengera kunyumba tepi ngati "Blow Bang #4” ndi kuziwonera, ndi kuseweretsa maliseche kwa izo. Kodi zimati chiyani pamalingaliro amtundu wathu wokhudzana ndi kugonana ndi umuna kuti amuna ambiri amatha kupeza chisangalalo powonera mtsikana akuyenda pakhosi pomwe mbolo ikukankhidwira kukhosi kwake ndikutsatiridwa ndi amuna asanu ndi mmodzi akutulutsa umuna kumaso ndi mkamwa? Kapena kuti amuna ena, omwe angaone kuti zochitikazo ndizovuta kwambiri, amakonda kuwonera mwamuna m'modzi akugonana ndi mkazi zomwe zimayamba ndi mawu achikondi ndikumaliza ndi "Kodi mukufuna kuti ndikubereni pabulu?" ndi kutulutsa umuna pa mabere ake? Kodi vidiyo yotereyi, yopangidwira amuna kuti aziseweretsa maliseche, imati chiyani, imatengedwa ngati yapamwamba komanso yapamwamba?

Ndikuganiza kuti akuti umuna mu chikhalidwe uno uli pamavuto.

ZOYENERA KUCHITA: N'CHIFUKWA CHIYANI KUKHALA KWA ZINTHU ZOPHUNZITSIRA ZINTHU ZOSANGALATSA ZINTHU ZOSANGALATSA ZINTHU ZIMAGWIRITSA NTCHITO KWAMBIRI CHONCHO?

Pali mfundo zambiri m’nkhani yolaula zimene anthu oganiza bwino sangagwirizane nazo. Njira zamalamulo zimadzutsa nkhani zofunika paufulu ndi udindo, ndipo kulumikizana kotsimikizika pakati pa kugwiritsa ntchito media ndi machitidwe amunthu nthawi zonse kumakhala kovuta kukhazikitsa. Nthawi zambiri, kugonana ndi chinthu chovuta kwambiri chomwe kusiyanasiyana kwa anthu kumapangitsa kuti anthu azikayikira.

Koma kutsutsa kwachikazi kumapangitsa kuti anthu azitsutsa zolaula zomwe, kwa ine, nthawi zonse zakhala zikuwonekera pamwamba. Mkangano wa ndale umene kutsutsidwaku unayambitsa, ponse paŵiri mkati mwa chikhalidwe cha akazi ndi chikhalidwe chokulirapo, ukuwoneka wovuta modabwitsa. Kuchokera pa zomwe ndakumana nazo polemba ndi kuyankhula pagulu, nditha kukhala wotsimikiza kuti zomwe ndalemba pano mpaka pano zipangitsa owerenga ena kunditsutsa kuti ndine wokonda zachiwerewere kapena wopusa.

Chifukwa chimodzi chodziwikiratu cha kulimba kwa zitsutso izi ndikuti owonetsa zolaula amapeza ndalama, chifukwa chake pali phindu loyenda mwachangu ndi mphamvu yayikulu yochepetsera kapena kuthetsa kutsutsa kwamakampani. Koma chifukwa chofunika kwambiri, ndikukhulupirira, ndikuti pamlingo wina aliyense amadziwa kuti kutsutsa kwachikazi kwa zolaula kumakhudza zambiri kuposa zolaula. Ikuphatikizanso kudzudzula momwe amuna "wamba" mu chikhalidwe ichi aphunzirira kukhala ndi chisangalalo pakugonana - komanso momwe amayi ndi ana amaphunzirira kulolera kapena kuvutika ndi zotsatira zake. Kudzudzula kumeneko sikungowopseza makampani owonetsa zolaula kapena zosonkhanitsira zomwe amuna adazibisa m'zipinda zawo, koma kwa aliyense. Kusuliza kwachikazi kumafunsa funso losavuta koma lopweteka kwa amuna: “N’chifukwa chiyani kugonana uku kukukomerani, ndipo mumakupanga munthu wotani? Ndipo chifukwa chakuti akazi ogonana amuna kapena akazi okhaokha amakhala ndi chilakolako cha kugonana kwa amuna ndi amuna, akaziwo sangathawe funsoli - kaya ndi chilakolako cha zibwenzi zawo, okondedwa awo, ndi amuna awo, kapena momwe adakhalira ndi kugonana. Zimenezo zimatitengera kutali kwambiri kuposa magazini, mafilimu, ndi makompyuta, kumtima wa chimene ife tiri ndi mmene timakhalira m’chisembwere ndi m’maganizo. Zimenezo zimawopseza anthu. Mwina ziyenera kutichititsa mantha. Zakhala zikundichititsa mantha.

MALANGIZO ENA: KODI ZIMENE ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA ACHINYAMATA AKHALA NDI ACHINYAMATA NDI CHIYANI PA ZOULALA NDI CHIYANI?

Kutsutsa kwachikazi kwa zolaula kunachokera ku gulu lalikulu lolimbana ndi nkhanza za kugonana kumapeto kwa zaka za m'ma 1970. Mkangano wam'mbuyomu wamakhalidwe onyansa pakati pa omasuka ndi osunga malamulo adasokoneza otsutsa "zithunzi zonyansa" motsutsana ndi oteteza "kumasulidwa kwa kugonana." Otsutsa achikazi adasintha zokambiranazo ku njira zomwe zolaula zimasokoneza ulamuliro ndi kugonjera. Otsutsawo anazindikira kuvulaza kwa akazi ndi ana komwe kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi zolaula, kuphatikizapo kuvulaza: (1) kwa akazi ndi ana omwe amagwiritsidwa ntchito popanga zolaula; (2) kwa akazi ndi ana amene amawakakamiza kuonera zolaula; (3) kwa akazi ndi ana amene amagwiriridwa ndi amuna amene amaonera zolaula; ndi (4) pokhala mu chikhalidwe chimene zolaula zimalimbitsa ndi kusokoneza chikhalidwe cha amayi.

Pali zambiri zonena za izi, koma izi zikhala zokwanira pakadali pano.

VUTO LACHImuna

Cholinga cha ntchito yanga, ndi gulu lachikazi lotsutsana ndi zolaula zambiri, zakhala zovulaza kwa amayi ndi ana. Koma gululi lamvetsetsa kwanthawi yayitali kuti kulimbana ndi nkhanza, nkhanza zogonana, nkhanza zogonana, komanso nkhanza zomwe zafala kwambiri pachikhalidwechi zimafuna kuti tithane ndi amuna. Monga momwe taonera kuti kusankhana mitundu ndi vuto la azungu, tinganene kuti nkhanza zokhudza kugonana ndi nkhanza ndi mavuto a amuna. Monga momwe tingayambire kuthana ndi chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe cha chikhalidwe cha kuyera, momwemonso tingayambe kugwirizana ndi chikhalidwe cha pathological cha amuna.

Mikhalidwe yokhudzana ndi umuna pachikhalidwe ichi ndi kulamulira, kulamulira, kuuma, kupikisana kwakukulu, kuponderezana maganizo, nkhanza, ndi chiwawa. Chipongwe chofala chimene anyamata amatukwana ndi kunena kuti ndi mtsikana, munthu wopanda mphamvu. Palibe chipongwe pabwalo lamasewera chomwe chili choipitsitsa kuposa kutchedwa mtsikana, kupatulapo kutchedwa “fagi,” lochokera kwa mtsikana. Ukazi ndi magulu ena opita patsogolo ayesa kusintha tanthauzo la umuna, koma zakhala zovuta kuzichotsa.

N’zosadabwitsa kuti zithunzi zolaula zimasonyeza maganizo a amuna; amuna kaŵirikaŵiri amaphunzitsidwa kuona kugonana monga mbali ya moyo imene amuna mwachibadwa amakhala olamulira ndipo kugonana kwa akazi kuyenera kugwirizana ndi zosowa za amuna. Monga kachitidwe kalikonse, pali kusiyanasiyana momwe izi zimasewerera komanso momwe abambo enieni amawonera. Kuwonetsa machitidwe a ulamuliro wa amuna mu chikhalidwe ndi khalidwe sikutanthauza kuti mwamuna aliyense ndi wogwirira. Ndibwerezenso: Sindikunena kuti mwamuna aliyense ndi wogwirira. Tsopano popeza ndanena zimenezo, ndingakhale wotsimikiza pa chinthu chimodzi chokha: Amuna ena amene amaŵerenga izi anganene kuti, “Mnyamata ameneyu ndi mmodzi wa okhulupirira zachikazi amene amakhulupirira kuti mwamuna aliyense ndi wogwirira chigololo.”

Kotero, ndiloleni ndiike izi mwa munthu woyamba: Ndinabadwira ku United States mu 1958, m'badwo wa pambuyo pa Playboy. Ndinaphunzitsidwa galamala yachisembwere, imene Catharine MacKinnon anaifotokoza mwachidule kuti: “Mwamuna amachimwira mkazi; chinthu cha mneni.” M’dziko limene ndinaphunzirapo za kugonana, kugonana kunali kupeza chisangalalo mwa kutenga akazi. M’chipinda chogulitsiramo, funso silinali lakuti, “Kodi iwe ndi bwenzi lako munapeza njira yosangalalira ndi kuyandikira usiku watha?” koma "Kodi munamvapo usiku watha?" Kodi munthu amapeza chiyani? Munthu amapeza “chidutswa cha bulu.” Ndi ubale wamtundu wanji womwe munthu angakhale nawo ndi chidutswa cha bulu? Mutu, mneni, chinthu.

Tsopano, mwina ndinaleredwa mwachibwanabwana. Mwinamwake maphunziro a kugonana omwe ndinapeza - pamsewu, mu zolaula - zinali zosiyana ndi zomwe amuna ambiri amaphunzira. Mwinamwake zomwe ndinaphunzitsidwa za kukhala mwamuna - mumsewu, m'chipinda chosungiramo - zinali zosokoneza. Koma ndakhala nthawi yambiri ndikukambirana ndi amuna za izi, ndipo sindikuganiza choncho.

Njira yanga pa zonsezi ndi yophweka: Umuna ndi lingaliro loipa, kwa aliyense, ndipo ndi nthawi yoti muchotse. Osati kusintha izo, koma kuchotsa izo.

CHIMUNA, OSATI

Ngakhale kuti ambiri amavomereza kuti umuna uyenera kusintha, ndi ochepa chabe omwe ali ndi chidwi chochotsa. Tengani makampeni "amuna enieni samagwiririra". Poyankha nkhanza za abambo, makampeniwo amafunsa abambo kuti aganizire za kumasuliranso kuti "mwamuna weniweni" ndi chiyani. Zimakhala zovuta kusagwirizana ndi cholinga chochepetsera chiwawa cha amuna, ndipo wina akhoza kuona momwe njira yachidule ingagwire ntchito. Koma sindikufuna kutanthauziranso zachimuna. Sindikufuna kuzindikira mtundu uliwonse wa makhalidwe omwe amatsatira kukhala mwamuna weniweni. Ndikufuna kuchotsa zachimuna.

Koma dikirani, ena anganene. Chifukwa chakuti panthawiyi makhalidwe omwe amuna amapatsidwa ndi onyansa sizikutanthauza kuti sitingathe kugawira makhalidwe osiyanasiyana. Nanga bwanji kutanthauziranso umuna kukhala wokhudzidwa komanso wosamala? Chalakwika ndi chiyani pamenepo? Palibe cholakwika ndi kupempha amuna kuti azisamala kwambiri, koma funso lofunsidwa ndi lodziwikiratu: Kodi nchifukwa ninji mikhalidwe imeneyo kwenikweni ili yachimuna? Kodi si mikhalidwe yaumunthu yomwe tingafune kuti aliyense agawane nayo? Ngati ndi choncho, n’chifukwa chiyani amawatchula kuti ndi amuna?

Amuna enieni, m’lingaliro limeneli, angakhale ngati akazi enieni. Tonse tikanakhala anthu enieni. Makhalidwe sakanatsatira magulu achilengedwe. Koma tikangoyamba kusewera masewera a amuna / akazi, cholinga chiyenera kukhala kupeza zinthu zina zomwe amuna ndi akazi sali, kapena mosiyana. Kupanda kutero, palibe nzeru kupatsa mikhalidwe yomweyi kwa magulu awiri ndikunamizira kuti mikhalidweyo ndi yachimuna ndi yachikazi, mwamuna ndi mkazi. Ngati ndi choncho, ndi mikhalidwe yaumunthu, yomwe ilipo kapena kusakhalapo mwa anthu mosiyanasiyana koma osakhazikika mu biology. Mfundo yakuti timafunabe kuwagawa m'magulu okhudzana ndi kugonana kumangosonyeza kuti tili ofunitsitsa kutsata maganizo akuti magulu ogonana ndi zizindikiro za chikhalidwe cha anthu komanso maganizo.

Mwanjira ina, bola ngati pali umuna, tili m'mavuto. Titha kuchepetsa vutoli m'njira zina, koma kwa ine zikuwoneka bwino kwambiri kuti tituluke m'mavuto kusiyana ndi kuganiza mozama kukhalabe momwemo.

"BLOW BANG" WOYANIKIRIKA KAPENA, KAPENA CHIFUKWA CHIYANI ZOSANGALATSA ZIMANDICHITSA CHISONI, GAWO XNUMX

Mofanana ndi amuna ambiri a chikhalidwe chimenechi, ndinkagwiritsa ntchito zolaula kuyambira ndili mwana komanso ndili wamkulu. Koma m'zaka khumi ndi ziwiri zomwe ndakhala ndikufufuza ndikulemba za zolaula ndi kutsutsa kwachikazi, ndawona zolaula zochepa, ndiyeno ndikuzilamulira kwambiri. Zaka zisanu zapitazo, wolemba-mnzake ndi ine tinachita kafukufuku wa mavidiyo olaula omwe ankafuna kuwonetseredwa kwambiri ndi zolaula kuposa momwe ndinaliri zaka zambiri, ndipo zomwe ndinachita kuzinthuzo zinandidabwitsa. Ndinadzipeza kuti ndikuvutikira kumvetsetsa chilakolako cha kugonana chimene ndinali nacho ndikuyang'ana, ndipo zinanditengera nthawi kuti ndithane ndi nkhanza za zinthuzo komanso momwe ndimachitira pogonana.

Pamene ndinayamba pulojekiti yaposachedwa iyi, kubwereza kwa ntchito yoyambirira kuti ndiyang'ane kusintha kwa makampani, ndinali wokonzeka kuthana ndi machitidwe anga akuthupi ku matepi. Ndinazindikira kuti zinali zodziwikiratu kuti ndidzadzutsidwa ndi mavidiyo, omwe pambuyo pake adapangidwa makamaka ndi cholinga chodzutsa anthu ngati ine. Ndinakambirana kale ndi wolemba mnzanga ndi anzanga ena. Ndinali wokonzeka kugwira ntchitoyo, ngakhale kuti sindinkayembekezera. Mnzake wina anaseka kuti, “Zomvetsa chisoni kuti simungagwire ntchito imeneyi kwa munthu amene angaisangalale.”

Ndinali ndi pafupifupi maola 25 oonera tepi. Ntchitoyi ndinkaiona ngati ntchito ina iliyonse yamaphunziro. Ndinapita kukagwira ntchito 8 koloko m’mawa, ndikukhala m’chipinda chochitira misonkhano ku yunivesite kumene ndimagwira ntchito. Ndinali ndi TV ndi VCR, zokhala ndi mahedifoni kuti aliyense m’zipinda zoyandikana asavutitsidwe ndi mawuwo. Ndinalemba zolemba mu laputopu yanga. Ndinatenga nthawi yopuma masana. Kumapeto kwa tsiku lalitali, ndinasiya zida za ntchitoyo ndikupita kunyumba kukadya chakudya chamadzulo.

Ndidakwiyitsidwa mosinthana ndikunyong'onyeka ndi matepiwo - zodziwikiratu kutengera momwe kugonana kumakhalira, komanso kupangidwa mokhazikika, mtunduwo. Ndinali wokonzekera zonse ziwirizo. Zomwe sindinakonzekere zinali chisoni chachikulu chomwe ndimamva ndikuwonera. Pa Loweruka ndi Lamlungu limenelo, ndiponso kwa masiku angapo pambuyo pake, ndinali ndi nkhawa zambirimbiri komanso ndinkakhumudwa kwambiri.

Ndikuganiza kuti izi zidachitika chifukwa cha kuchuluka kwa kuwonera zolaula zambiri mokhazikika. Amuna nthawi zambiri amawona zolaula mwachidule kuti akwaniritse zotsatira zogonana; zolaula ndizomwe zimayendetsa maliseche. Ndikuganiza kuti amuna sawonera kanema wathunthu, chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito kwambiri batani lopita patsogolo. Ngati amuna amaliza kuseweretsa maliseche awo tepiyo isanathe, nthawi zambiri samaliza kuwonera.

Zikawonedwa motsatizanatsatizanazi, chisangalalo chakugonana ndicho chimasonkhezera kuonera zolaula. Ndizovuta kuwona zomwe zili pansi pa erection yanu. Koma tikayang’ana chimodzi ndi china, m’njira yofowoka imeneyi, chisangalalocho chimatha msanga ndipo malingaliro a m’musiwo amakhala osavuta kuwona. Pambuyo pa matepi owerengeka, zimakhala zovuta kuti musawone nkhanza zachidani za amayi ndi zobisika (ndipo nthawi zina osati zobisika) zomwe zimadzaza mavidiyo ambiri "odziwika". Ndikuganiza kuti izi zimabweretsa chifundo kwa amayi, chinthu chomwe wogula wamba zolaula samakumana nacho.

Chisoni choterocho ndi vuto la wojambula zolaula. Amuna omwe amagwiritsa ntchito zolaula akuyenera kudziwika ndi amuna omwe ali muvidiyoyi, osati akazi. Ngati amuna afunsa funso loti, “Kodi akazi amafunadi kulowetsedwa ndi amuna awiri nthawi imodzi?” masewera olaula atha. Azimayi ayenera kukhala ochepa kuposa anthu ngati zolaula ziyenera kugwira ntchito. Ngati akazi akukhala china choposa - m'mawu a wolemba zolaula "woopsa" Max Hardcore - "chotengera tambala," ndiye kuti amuna omwe akufuna chisangalalo angayime kuti afunse momwe zimakhalira kwa mkazi weniweni yemwe ali pamalopo, mkazi-womwe akufunafuna chisangalalo. -ndi-munthu.

"Blow Bang #4” inali tepi yachisanu ndi chimodzi yomwe ndinaonera tsiku limenelo. Podzafika nthaŵi imene ndinaiika mu VCR, thupi langa, kwakukulukulu, linali litasiya kuchitapo kanthu ndi chisonkhezero cha kugonana. Panthawiyi, zikanakhala zovuta kuti ndisadabwe kuti mkazi yemwe anali m'chiwonetsero chimodzi anamva bwanji pamene amuna asanu ndi atatu adayesetsa kumugwira mutu wake ndikuuyika pansi pa mbolo yawo momwe angathere. Pa tepi, mkaziyo anati iye ankakonda izo. Zoonadi, n’zotheka kuti mkaziyo anasangalala nazo, koma ndinadabwa kuti anamva bwanji zitatha ndipo makamera anazimitsidwa. Kodi akazi amene ankaonera zimenezi akanamva bwanji? Kodi akazi omwe ndimawadziwa angamve bwanji zikadachitika kwa iwo? Izi sizikukana kudziyimira pawokha kwa amayi ndi bungwe; ndi chifundo chophweka, kusamala za munthu wina ndi malingaliro ake, kuyesa kumvetsetsa zomwe zinachitikira munthu wina.

Ngati chifundo ndi gawo la zomwe zimatipanga kukhala anthu, ndipo zolaula zimafuna kuti amuna azitsutsa chifundo, ndiye kuti tifunse funso lovuta kwambiri. Pamene amuna amaonera zolaula, kodi amuna ndi umunthu? Zinanso pambuyo pake.

CHIFUKWA CHIYANI KULAMULIRA ZINAMANDITSITSA CHONSE, GAWO II

Kumapeto kwa kuwonera kwa tsiku loyamba, ndinali kuyendetsa galimoto kunyumba. Ndinayamba kulira mopanda chenjezo ndiponso popanda kundikwiyitsa. Zithunzi zochokera m'mavidiyo zinasefukira pa ine, makamaka mtsikana wa "Blow Bang #4.” Ndinadziuza ndekha kuti, “Sindikufuna kukhala m’dziko lino.”

Kenako ndinazindikira kuti chisonicho chinali chodzikonda kwambiri. Sizinali panthawiyo makamaka za amayi omwe ali m'mavidiyo kapena ululu wawo. Ndikukhulupirira kuti panthawiyo, kumverera mwa ine kunali kukhudzidwa ndi zomwe mavidiyo amanena za ine, osati zomwe amanena za akazi. Ngati zolaula zimathandiza kufotokozera zomwe mwamuna amagonana ndi chikhalidwe ichi, ndiye kuti sizikudziwika kwa ine momwe ndingakhalire ngati kugonana mu chikhalidwe ichi.

Ndikukhala m'dziko limene amuna - amuna ambiri, osati amuna ochepa okha, openga - amakonda kuonera ndi kuseweretsa maliseche a amuna ena akukhudzidwira umuna pa mkazi-wopangidwa-ochepa-kuposa munthu. Mavidiyowa anandikakamiza kukumbukira kuti panthaŵi ina m’moyo wanga, ndinaonera. Ndadutsapo kudziimba mlandu kapena manyazi pa izi; zomwe ndimachita ndizovuta kwambiri kuti ndidzipezere malo m'dziko lomwe kukhala mwamuna kumalumikizidwa ndi chisangalalo chakugonana movutitsa akazi. Sindikufuna kuti nthawi zonse ndizilimbana ndi mgwirizanowu, m'dziko kapena m'thupi langa.

Nditaonera mavidiyo amenewo, ndinkaona ngati kuti ndinalibe malo oti ndikhale mwamuna kapena mkazi. Sindikufuna kudziphatikiza ndi umuna, koma palibe malo ena odziwikiratu kuti ndikhale. Ine sindine mkazi, ndipo ine ndiribe chidwi chofuna kukhala mdindo. Kodi pali njira yokhalira wogonana kunja kwa zomwe chikhalidwe chimandiuza kuti ndiyenera kukhala?

Yankho limodzi lotheka: Ngati simukuzikonda, pangani china chake. Ili ndi yankho, koma osati zonse zothandiza. Kuyesera kupanga njira yosiyana pa jenda ndi kugonana si ntchito yokhayokha. Ndili ndi ogwirizana nawo polojekitiyi, koma ndiyeneranso kukhala m'magulu ambiri, zomwe zimandikokera nthawi zonse m'magulu ochiritsira. Chidziwitso chathu ndi kuphatikiza kovutirapo kwa magulu omwe gulu lomwe tikukhalamo limapanga, momwe anthu otizungulira amatifotokozera, ndi omwe tidzafuna kukhala. Sitidzilenga tokha mwa kudzipatula; sitingathe kukhala zatsopano, tokha, popanda thandizo ndi chithandizo.

Yankho linanso lotheka: Titha kulankhula moona mtima chifukwa chake zithunzizi zilipo, komanso chifukwa chake timazigwiritsira ntchito. Tingayese kuyankha mafunso a akazi: “N’chifukwa chiyani amuna amakonda chonchi? Mukupeza chiyani pa izi?

Musalakwitse izi chifukwa chodzisangalatsa kapena kudandaula. Ndikudziwa kuti anthu omwe ali ndi ndalama zowononga kwambiri za kugonana kumeneku ndi amayi ndi ana omwe ali pachiopsezo chachikulu cha kugonana. Monga mzungu wachikulire wamwamuna wokhala ndi mwayi, zovuta zanga zamalingaliro ndizochepa poyerekeza ndi zowawa za enawo. Ndimalankhula izi kuti ndisamangoganizira za kulimbana kwanga, koma kuti ndilumikizane ndi gulu lolimbana ndi umuna. Ngati amuna ati alowe nawo pantchito yolekanitsa umuna, tiyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro kuti titha kupeza chizindikiritso cholowa m'malo mwake. Ngati sitilankhula zachisoni ndi mantha omwe amabwera ndi nkhondoyi, umuna ulibe chodetsa nkhawa. Idzapirira mumpangidwe wake wamakono. Anthu adzagubabe kupita kunkhondo. Amuna azingokhalira kukangana m'matupi a wina ndi mnzake pabwalo la mpira. Ndipo "Blow Bang #4, ndipo mwina tsiku lina #104, apitiliza kuchita bizinesi mwachangu pamalo ogulitsira makanema akuluakulu.

ANTHU A ANTHU

Kunena zomveka: Sindimadana ndi amuna. Sindimadzida ndekha. Ndikunena za umuna, osati za kukhala mwamuna. Ndikunena za khalidwe la amuna.

Nthawi zambiri omenyera ufulu wa akazi amatsutsidwa kuti amadana ndi amuna. Azimayi okhwima m'gulu lotsutsana ndi zolaula amatsutsidwa kuti ndi omwe amadana kwambiri ndi okonda akazi. Ndipo Andrea Dworkin amadziwika kuti ndi wotentheka kwambiri pakati pa anthu otengeka kwambiri, wopondereza kwambiri wachikazi. Ndawerengapo buku la Dworkin, ndipo sindikuganiza kuti amadana ndi amuna. Nayenso satero. Izi ndi zomwe Dworkin adalemba zokhudza amuna:

“Sindimakhulupirira kuti kugwiriridwa ndi kosapeŵeka kapena kwachibadwa. Ngati ndikanatero, sindikanakhala ndi chifukwa chokhalira pano [kulankhula ku msonkhano wa amuna]. Ndikadatero, zochita zanga zandale zikanakhala zosiyana ndi momwe zilili. Kodi munayamba mwadzifunsapo kuti chifukwa chiyani sitili pankhondo yolimbana nanu? Sichifukwa chakuti m’dziko muno muli kuchepa kwa mipeni yakukhitchini. Ndi chifukwa timakhulupirira umunthu wanu, motsutsana ndi umboni wonse. "

Azimayi amakhulupirira umunthu wa amuna, motsutsana ndi umboni wonse wa kugwiriridwa ndi kumenyedwa ndi kuzunzidwa, tsankho ndi kuchotsedwa ntchito. Chikhulupiriro chakuti mwa umunthu wa amuna ndi chowona kwa mkazi aliyense - wogonana ndi amuna kapena akazi okhaokha - ndakumanapo ndikugwira nawo ntchito zotsutsana ndi nkhanza za kugonana ndi malonda a malonda ogonana. Ndi akazi amene alibe zonyenga za mmene dziko limagwirira ntchito, komabe amakhulupirira umunthu wa amuna. Iwo amakhulupirira mozama kwambiri, ndikukayikira, kuposa momwe ndimachitira. Pali masiku omwe ndimakayikira. Koma kukayikira zimenezi ndi mwayi wamtengo wapatali. Dworkin amakumbutsa amuna kuti, momwe kubisalira manyazi athu pazomwe timachita ndi mantha:

“[Akazi] safuna kuchita ntchito yokuthandizani kuti mukhulupirire umunthu wanu. Sitingathenso kuchita. Takhala tikuyesera. Talipidwa ndi kugwiritsidwa ntchito mwadongosolo komanso kuzunza mwadongosolo. Muyenera kuchita izi nokha kuyambira pano ndipo mukudziwa. "

Mwinamwake chinthu choyamba ndicho kuzindikira zizindikiro za umunthu. Pano pali chiyambi cha mndandanda wanga: Chifundo ndi chilakolako, mgwirizano ndi kudzilemekeza, luso lokonda komanso kufunitsitsa kulimbana. Onjezani zanu kwa izo. Kenako funsani funso ili:

Kodi amuna tingavomereze umunthu wathu ngati tipeza chisangalalo chakugonana powonera amuna atatu akulowa m'malo mwa mkazi pakamwa, kumaliseche, ndi kumatako nthawi imodzi? Kodi titha kukhala ndi umunthu wathu mokwanira ngati tipeza chisangalalo chakugonana powonera amuna asanu ndi atatu akutuluka pankhope ya mkazi komanso mkamwa mwake? Kodi tingathe kudziseweretsa maliseche kwa zithunzizo ndikukhulupirira moona kuti alibe zotsatira kuposa kuwuka ndi kugwa kwa mbolo yathu mphindi imeneyo? Ngakhale ngati mumakhulupirira kuti “malingaliro” oterowo akugonana alibe chiyambukiro m’dziko lakunja kwa mitu yathu, kodi chisangalalo chimenecho chimanenanji ponena za umunthu wathu?

Abale, izi ndizofunikira. Chonde musalole kuti musavutike pompano. Musanyalanyaze funso limenelo ndikuyamba kukangana ngati tingathe kufotokozera zolaula kapena ayi. Musayambe kufotokoza kuti asayansi a chikhalidwe cha anthu sanakhazikitse mgwirizano wotsimikizika pakati pa zolaula ndi nkhanza za kugonana. Ndipo chonde, musayambe kufotokoza momwe kulili kofunika kuteteza zolaula chifukwa mukutetezadi ufulu wolankhula.

Ngakhale mukuganiza kuti mafunsowo ndi ofunika bwanji, pakali pano sindikufunsa mafunso amenewo. Ndikukupemphani kuti muganizire za tanthauzo la kukhala munthu. Chonde musanyalanyaze funsolo. Ndikufuna kuti mufunse. Akazi amafunikira kuti mufunsenso.

ZIMENE SIKUMANENA

Ine sindikuwuza akazi momwe ayenera kumverera kapena choti achite. Sindikuwaneneza kuti ali ndi chikumbumtima chabodza kapena kuti ndi onyenga. Sindikulankhula ndi akazi. Ndikulankhula ndi amuna. Akazi inu muli ndi mikangano yanu ndi mikangano pakati panu. Ndikufuna kukhala wothandizana nawo pazovutazi, koma ndimayima kunja kwa iwo.

ZIMENE NDIKUMANENA

Sindiima kunja kwa umuna. Ndikakamira pakati, ndikumenyera moyo wanga. Ndikufuna thandizo, osati la akazi koma amuna ena. Sindingathe kukana umuna ndekha; iyenera kukhala ntchito yomwe timapanga limodzi. Ndipo Dworkin akulondola; tiyenera kuchita tokha. Akazi akhala okoma mtima kwa ife, okoma mtima mwinamwake kuposa zokomera iwo eni, mosakayika okoma mtima kuposa mmene timayenera. Sitingathenso kudalira kukoma mtima kwa akazi; sikutha, ndipo sichilungamo kapena kungopitiriza kuugwiritsa ntchito.

Nazi njira zomwe tingayambitsire kukana umuna:

Titha kusiya kulemekeza chiwawa ndipo tikhoza kukana mitundu yake yovomerezeka ndi anthu, makamaka m'magulu ankhondo ndi masewera. Titha kupanga mtendere kukhala ngwazi. Titha kupeza njira zogwiritsira ntchito ndi kusangalala ndi matupi athu posewera popanda kuyang'anana wina ndi mzake akugwa pansi ndi ululu pambuyo pa "kugunda kwakukulu."

Titha kusiya kupereka phindu pazochita zomwe zimakana umunthu wathu, kuvulaza anthu ena, ndikupanga chilungamo cha kugonana kukhala chosatheka: zolaula, zovula zovala, uhule, zokopa alendo. Palibe chilungamo m’dziko limene matupi ena angagulidwe ndi kugulitsidwa.

Titha kutengera mozama kutsutsa kwachikazi kwa nkhanza zakugonana, osati kungovomereza kuti kugwiririra ndi kumenya nzoipa, koma poyankhana wina ndi mnzake ndikusayang'ana mbali ina pomwe anzathu achita. Ndipo, chofunika kwambiri, titha kudzifunsa tokha momwe khalidwe la kugonana laulamuliro wa amuna limachitikira mu maubwenzi athu apamtima, ndikuwafunsa anzathu momwe amawonekera kwa iwo.

Tikachita zimenezi, dziko lidzakhala malo abwino kwa ife osati anthu okhawo amene akuvutika chifukwa cha chiwawa chathu. Ngati simukusonkhezeredwa ndi mikangano yonena za chilungamo ndi umunthu wa ena, pamenepo sonkhezeredwani ndi lingaliro lakuti mungathandize kudzipangira dziko labwinopo. Ngati simungaganizire zowawa za ena mozama, ndiye kuti ganizirani mozama kupweteka kwanu, kukayikira kwanu, kusakhazikika kwanu pankhani yachimuna. Inu mukumverera izo; Ndikudziwa kuti mumatero. Sindinakumanepo ndi mwamuna yemwe samamva chisoni ndi zachimuna, yemwe samamva kuti mwanjira inayake sakuchita zomwe kumatanthauza kukhala mwamuna. Pali chifukwa chake: Umuna ndi chinyengo; ndi msampha. Palibe wa ife amene ali munthu wokwanira.

Pali amuna omwe amadziwa izi, amuna ambiri kuposa momwe angavomereze. Tikuyang'ana wina ndi mzake. Tikusonkhana. Timafufuzana maso ndi chiyembekezo. “Kodi ndingakukhulupirireni?” timafunsa chamumtima. Kodi ndingathe kudzidalira? Pamapeto pake, kodi tonse tidzakhala ndi mantha ndikuthamangira ku umuna, ku zomwe tikudziwa? Pamapeto pake, tonse tifika pa "Blow Bang #4"?

M'dziko lodzaza ndi zowawa zomwe zimabwera ndi kukhala wamoyo - imfa ndi matenda, zokhumudwitsa ndi zowawa - kukhala munthu ndizovuta mokwanira. Tisaonjezere mavuto athu poyesa kukhala amuna. Tisaonjezere kuzunzika kwa ena.

Tiyeni tisiye kuyesa kukhala amuna. Titha kulimbana kuti tikhale anthu.

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Robert Jensen, pulofesa wothandizana nawo wa utolankhani ku yunivesite ya Texas ku Austin, ndiye mlembi wa Kulemba Kutsutsana: Kutenga Malingaliro Akuluakulu Kuchokera Pamphepete mwa Mtsinje kupita ku Mainstream ndi wolemba nawo wa Zithunzi Zolaula: Kupanga ndi Kugwiritsa Ntchito Kusagwirizana. Atha kufikiridwa pa rjensen@uts.cc.utexas.edu.

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